


Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

by montecarlogirl87



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2761418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montecarlogirl87/pseuds/montecarlogirl87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>omg I hate summaries...seriously, I can never think of something clever to say...</p><p>A fan visits Vancouver. She becomes friends with the boys. Things get complicated. And then, you know, a happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is utterly shameless. I literally just inserted myself into the boys' lives and wrote a story where I end up with Jensen. It's cheesy and ridiculous and not something I would write nowdays. But oh well. I'm not sorry.
> 
> I also made a **soundtrack** for this. All my links are broken since Megaupload was killed, but there's still (crappy) album art and a track listing here if you're interested: http://loco-lobo.livejournal.com/47781.html

He wasn’t even supposed to be there.  
  
Jared was tied up in shooting, it was one of ‘his’ episodes, which left Jensen free for most of the day, even if he was still on set.  
  
Jared of course had been moaning all day about running out of precious dog food that morning and what were poor Sadie and Harley gonna do when Daddy came home without munchies? And seeing as Jared wasn’t about to get a break Jensen made the run for him. He needed some shampoo and coffee and a couple random things anyways.  
  
He was halfway across the parking lot, juggling the keys to the car in his hand and humming along with a song that was playing from some car off in the distance when he realized what exactly it was he was singing.

He slowed his stride, glancing around for the source of sound, finally spotting a car with the hood open over by the dumpsters, Jason Manns blaring from the downed windows.

Not that his buddy down south didn’t have his own rabid fanbase, but Jason’s music wasn’t exactly widespread so hearing it blasted across a random Target parking lot in Canada was a bit of a shock.  
  
He glanced at his watch making sure he had time for a detour before altering his course to take him closer to the car.  
  
The closer he got he realized not only did the car have its hood up, and what a nice car it was, it was also up on jacks.  
  
A bright yellow bottle of Pennzoil was sitting in the engine bay and a pair of boots were stuck out from under the front end, the distinct thick pour of oil audible from where he stood.  
  
But who the hell changes oil in a Target parking lot?  
  
“You uh…need any help?”  
  
The body froze, before it wiggled its way out from underneath the car.  
  
Jensen’s eyebrow arched when the boots ended up being attached to a girl.  
  
She seemed to be trying to hide a smile as she wiped some hair from her forehead, leaving a black smudge in its wake.  
  
“Uh,” she chuckled, “uh, no, actually I’m okay.”  
  
He nodded, shifting nervously on his feet as she continued to bite the inside of her cheek, ghost of a grin across her features.  
  
“It’s a good song,” he nodded, referring to the music which had now switched over to another of Jason’s songs.  
  
“Yeah, it is,” she smiled wider. “You heard of him?”  
  
Jensen couldn’t help but grin.  
  
“Uh, yeah, I think. It sounds familiar.”  
  
“Uh huh,” she grinned again before disappearing back under the car.  
  
Jensen didn’t know whether that meant to get lost, or whether she just had to finish up under the car.  
  
“So…uh, mind me asking why you’re changing oil at Target?”  
  
“It’s either here or the motel, either way, needed to be done,” she said, as he heard the clank of a wrench hitting pavement before she again squirmed her way out from under the car, pulling a pan of black oil out behind her.  
  
She wiped her hands on her rag before walking around the side to crack the seal on the new oil.  
  
“Where ya from?”  
  
“Florida.”  
  
“You’re from Florida?” he squawked, eyebrows shooting to his hairline, “And you  _drove?”_  
  
She just laughed, watching as the gold liquid poured from the bottle into her valve cover.   
  
“Yeah I did…I made it one big long road trip, made a lot of stops.”  
  
“Mind me asking why you came all the way to Vancouver?”  
  
She smiled, pulling up on the bottle and halting the flow before looking at him for a split second, grin tugging her lips before she went back to pouring.  
  
“Well, you see…there’s this TV show that I love, and they film here, thought I’d come up here just to say I have.”  
  
Jensen shifted on his feet again, scratching at the back of his neck and trying to hold back his own chuckle. Jason’s music, Vancouver, the smile she kept trying to bite back, it was all coming together now. Course, it wasn’t like she had freaked out and yanked him into a photo or anything, and he had been the one to walk up to  _her._  
  
“Is that so?”  
  
She grinned again, setting the now empty bottle on the ground and replacing the cap on her engine.  
  
“Yeah, it’s called ‘Supernatural,’ dunno if you’ve ever heard of it.”  
  
He couldn’t help but grin, trying to hold back a laugh.  
  
“Uh yeah, I think I’ve seen it once or twice.”  
  
“Uh huh,” she grinned, using a funnel to pour the old oil into the empty bottle, and somewhere in the back of his mind Jensen noted that at least she wasn’t pouring it out on the ground.  
  
“It’s a really good show, you should watch it sometime.”  
  
By now the grin and mischievous silver glint in her blue eyes was a permanent fixture as she put the oil container in the dumpster and bent back down, letting both jacks ease down simultaneously, the car groaning as it accepted its own weight again.  
  
She yanked them out and went walking around to the back, lifting up on the trunk and stowing them back inside.  
  
“Nice car by the way.”  
  
“Thanks, he’s my baby.”  
  
Jensen smiled. “Guess you like the Impala then?”  
  
“Are you kidding me, I  _love_  the Impala…maybe more than you,” she winked, reaching in her downed window to start the engine and let the new oil run its course.  
  
When she came back to the front, yanking the hood closed with a metallic clang he held out his hand.  
  
“Jensen Ackles…but I guess you knew that,” he smiled as she reached out and shook it firmly.  
  
“You can say that,” she grinned, “Tareena Lyman.”  
  
“That’s pretty…unusual.”  
  
“Yeah, my mom made it up,” she shrugged, bending down to double check for leaks before going back to the side and shutting off the engine.  
  
“So uh, how long you in town for?”  
  
“Four weeks…five if I can make my money stretch,” she smiled with a shrug of her shoulder.  
  
“Cool, maybe I’ll see you around. I would tell you where we’re filming the next couple days but you probably know more about that than I do,” he laughed.  
  
“I’ve heard some rumors,” she smirked.  
  
“Yeah…so, umm, I’ve gotta go, you know, get some things, Jared’s dogs need food,” he stuttered, pointing over his shoulder towards the monster store.  
  
She nodded with a smile.   
  
He smiled awkwardly, taking a couple steps backwards before finally turning and heading back towards the store, he spun back around another three steps away.   
  
“You, uh, didn’t want an autograph or anything, did you?” he asked motioning with his hands, feeling like he was forgetting something, the way she was just everyday calm throwing him.  
  
She smirked and shook her head. “No, I’m good.”  
  
“Right, yeah…okay, see you, you know, around,” he waved before finally forcing himself to march back to the store.  
  
Damnit, this is why he always took Jared with him. Jared had an air and an all around goofy, inviting personality that just drew people in, and he was such a big flopping extrovert that whenever Jensen felt awkward or at a loss for words he could smoothly hand it over to Jared. But no, Jared had to be filming, thus leaving Jensen’s awkward stumbling ass to run into a normal fan.   
  
And sadly the normal part is what threw him.

* * *

 

Three days later, waiting for the props and camera men to get set back up in between takes he spotted her across the street.  
  
There were always a few fans scattered about anytime they were filming on location. He and Jared always tried to be courteous and at least say hi if they had time.  
  
There were maybe a dozen people gathered around today. Bundled up in coats and scarves, clutching cameras and grinning with their friends, pens and notepads tucked in their pockets.  
  
She stood on the other side of the street, alone, leaned against her car, sipping on her coffee like she was just killing time.  
  
Maybe that’s the reason he couldn’t bring himself to shake off their previous encounter. She didn’t act like a fan. Well, like the normal fans he ran into. She had never asked for an autograph or a photo, hadn’t even had a conniption when  _he_  went up to  _her._  
  
He quick grabbed a PA asking what the ETA was on the next take, when she replied another twenty minutes he went and grabbed his hat and sunglasses, and snuck out the side, bypassing the smiling, giggling girls milling around the front.  
  
He could tell she had spotted him as soon as he turned the corner, the corner of her lips twitching into a grin. But besides that she still didn’t react.  
  
He slinked past the fangirls and jogged across the street.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Hey you.”  
  
“Was wondering if I was going to see you again.”  
  
She laughed, “Yeah, same here.”  
  
“So uh…why you over here?”  _Smooth Jensen, real smooth._  
  
“Didn’t feel like being one of the herd,” she smiled.  
  
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I hear ya. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love our fans, but you guys are crazy.”  
  
She laughed out loud, shaking her head at him as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, Dean’s jackets not quite enough for the cold.  
  
“Here,” she offered, popping off the lid on her still steaming coffee and holding it out to him.  
  
He eyed the coffee, eyebrow shooting high before looking back at her.  
  
“What? It’s not like I backwash, it’s safe I promise,” she smiled, “You just look like you need it more than me.”  
  
“Oh, so I look like shit now?” he grinned.   
  
“Warmed over,” she shot right back.  
  
He grinned, accepting the coffee graciously. “Thanks, I appreciate it,” he laughed, sarcastic lilt to his voice.  
  
“Anytime,” she grinned right back.  
  
He had to admit, it was pretty damn good coffee…although, he wasn’t exactly about to tell her that.  
  
“So, you enjoying the filming?”  
  
She smirked, “Yeah.”  
  
He nodded, turning back to watch across the street, make sure he still had some time.  
  
He saw the lights snap on, bright white flooding over where they were filming.  
  
“Shit, looks like I gotta get back to work. You know where the set is?”  
  
“Roughly,” she said, eyebrows drawing down in question.  
  
“Well get there early tomorrow morning, like…eight, eight-thirty, and I’ll see if I can get you in.”  
  
Her eyes went wide and Jensen smirked.  _Finally! Got a reaction out of her!_  
  
“You don’t have to…”  
  
“It’s no big deal, I can’t make any promises or anything, but I can prolly get you in.”  
  
“Um…thanks, I mean, yeah, that’s awesome, I’ll be there.”  
  
“Cool, umm, here,” he held the coffee back out.  
  
“Keep it,” she smiled.  
  
“Umm, thanks, so uh, yeah…I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
  
“’Kay.”  
  
He grinned again, before jogging back over to the set. He glanced across the street, meeting her eyes and sharing a smile before Jeannie came over, snatching off his hat and scolding him for messing up his hair, making quick work of fixing it. When he looked back again she was slipping into her car. He watched as the engine rumbled to life before she drove away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> her car is a 1987 Monte Carlo LS, just like mine ;)


	2. Chapter 2

When he finally got the chance to check she was waiting outside the gates to the set, leaned against her windshield, stretched out over her hood.  
  
“Hey!” he called, waving as he made his way across the street.  
  
“Hey,” she smiled, sliding down off the car. “Is this okay? I circled the block but didn’t know where to park.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.”  
  
“It’s not gonna get towed or anything?”  
  
Jensen smirked, “Okay,  _Dean_ ,” he chuckled, “No, your baby will be fine here.”  
  
She laughed, “Shut up, you don’t realize what I have invested in that car.”  
  
He just laughed and led the way back to the gates.

He stopped at the small guard building and disappeared inside for a minute, when he came back out he looped a lanyard around her neck, laminated visitor’s pass hanging on the end.  
  
“This way if you need to get back out to your car or something you won’t need me to get back in without being arrested,” he grinned.  
  
“Cool, thanks.”  
  
“So,” he said, leading her deeper in the set, “I’ve got at least an hour to kill before they need me, wanna see the Impala?” he grinned.  
  
She just arched her brow and grinned back.  
  
“Did you honestly just ask me that?”  
  
He grinned before walking off, pointing out random things here and there and introducing her to some of the crew. Finally he just stopped and pointed with a smile.  
  
It was kind of a pointless gesture because her eyes had sought out the polished black the second they had turned the corner.  
  
She sighed causing him to laugh. “Come on, you can touch it.”  
  
“Don’t tease me.”  
  
He laughed again, “I’m not, go on.”  
  
She shot him a sideways look.  
  
“Go!” he grinned.  
  
She continued to shoot him a look, although her smile gave her away, as she edged closer to the car.  
  
He hung back, tried to make himself shrink into the nonexistent shadows and grinned to himself as she seemed drawn into some kind of gravitational pull around the car, sucked into her own little world.   
  
She ran the tips of her fingers over the high-gloss paint, swept over the sharp swell of the fender before dragging them down over the long hood, fingernail catching on the chrome of the grille molding.  
  
Her eyes were just as appreciative of the long lines, marking their own unseen path up over the hood, through the windshield and over the wrapped steering wheel.  
  
When she sighed again, fingertips still hovering over the ink black of the hood, Jensen cleared his throat.  
  
“Shut up,” she smirked, shooting him a mock-glare out of the corner of her eye.   
  
He grinned, “You want some alone time?”  
  
She glared at him again, crossing her arms just to prove she could stand there without touching the car.  
  
“Shut up,” she smiled, “It’s a nice car,” she continued to grin, even though she immediately regretted saying something so childish.  
  
He laughed again, scratching at the back of his neck as he finally came up beside her.  
  
“Yeah, yeah it is.”  
  
“Leave me alone,” she mumbled, half the words lost in some sort of chuckle.  
  
He just laughed back, “Wanna sit in it?”  
  
He opened the door for her with a flourish and fake bow, earning another half-hearted glare from her as she slid across the sun-warmed black seat.  
  
He leaned over the window, ducking his head in as she swept her hands over the steering wheel.  
  
“I think this is the stunt one too,” he said, looking down the side of the car.  
  
Next thing he knew she was yanking on the hood release and getting back out of the car so fast he stumbled when he backed up out of her way.  
  
She pulled up on the hood, the hinges groaning before just pausing and staring at the bright chrome air cleaner perched in the middle, surrounded by red plug wires running from the block up to the grungy red distributor in the back like veins running to the heart of the 427 engine.  
  
“Damn,” she whispered.  
  
“You really are a car girl aren’t you?” he chuckled.  
  
She just smirked before walking around to the side and leaning over the engine, spinning the wing nut off the air cleaner before lifting it carefully to see the Holley carburetor bolted underneath.  
  
She huffed out half a laugh.  
  
“First thing to go if I had it.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I hate Holleys. Had one on my Monte, it was a piece of shit, ditched it for an Edelbrock.”  
  
Jensen shrugged, “I don’t think they’ve had any problems with it.”  
  
She shrugged back, putting the air cleaner back in its spot. “I’ve known more than one person that swear by Holleys, but personally, I hate ‘em.”  
  
“Fair enough,” he grinned. “Wanna take a spin?”  
  
Her eyes shot from where they had still been attached the engine to his, wide with childish excitement.  
  
“Are you shitting me?”  
  
He laughed at her, “No I’m not. I mean, I can’t let you drive it or anything but I can take you out in it.”  
  
She slammed the hood and was opening the passenger side door before he could say anything else.  
  
He grinned, slipping in behind the wheel as she slammed the door.  
  
He paused before starting it, seeing her face fall just slightly as she glanced at the door.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I miss the squeak,” she mumbled, sticking her lip out comically.  
  
He laughed out loud, cranking the engine and grinning as she shifted in her seat as the 425 horses began to pound.

* * *

 

Jensen was gunning it through the set after losing track of time and then hitting traffic.  
  
“Man, Kim’s gonna be pissed,” he said, taking another turn through the trailers.  
  
“At least he can’t fire you,” she grinned.  
  
He chuckled, “Yeah, that’s true.”  
  
When he turned the last corner Kim was standing there, hands on his hips, obviously awaiting Jensen’s arrival in the pilfered Impala that the thunder of the engine had heralded.  
  
“He looks pissed,” Tareena whispered out of the side of her mouth, corner twitched up in a grin.  
  
Jensen grinned and pulled right up to Kim, who proceeded to slam the flat of his hand against the hood.  
  
“Hey!” Jensen squawked, getting out quickly, “Easy there, she didn’t do nothin’ to you.”  
  
Kim just stared him down. “You have fun on your little joy ride?”  
  
“Sure did,” Jensen grinned, waving a hand towards Tareena, “Kim I want you to meet Tareena, she’s a fan.”  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Kim said pleasantly, obviously deciding Jensen deserved the full blame for their escapade, “Don’t let him get away with dragging you all over,” he smiled, shaking her hand. “You gonna join us in filming today?”  
  
She released his hand and shot a look over at Jensen. “I don’t know. I can’t even believe I’m on set, I don’t wanna distract you guys or anything.”  
  
“It’s no big deal,” Jensen waved his hand. “Right Kim?”  
  
“Hey,” he said, “As long as you’re not distracting me or my actors or getting in my frames you’re more than welcome to stick around.”  
  
“See?” Jensen grinned.  
  
She just held her hands up in mock surrender and followed him over to where Jared was taking a last look at his lines.  
  
“Hey man.”  
  
He looked up, surprise flitting across his features when he saw her.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Tareena, Jared…Jared, Tareena.”  
  
“Hey how you doing?” he asked, mile wild grin.  
  
“Pretty awesome actually,” she grinned back, shaking his offered hand. “Kinda can’t believe I’m actually here.”  
  
“Where ya from?” Jared asked.  
  
“Florida.”  
  
“Holy shit!” he squawked, quickly slapping a hand over his mouth. “Uh…I mean, holy…cow,” he grinned as Jensen laughed at him and shrugged on Dean’s jacket.  
  
Tareena laughed, “No need to hold back around me, trust me, I can make a sailor proud.”  
  
Jared just grinned, “That’s really cool that you came all that way just to be here though.”  
  
Tareena just shrugged, all three of them looking over their shoulder when one of the PAs called for Jared and Jensen.  
  
“You’re sticking around today right?” Jared asked, unfolding himself from his chair.  
  
“Yeah, I guess so.”  
  
“Awesome!” he grinned.  
  
“You can hang out over here,” Jensen offered, or maybe over there,” he pointed, “as long as you stand behind the cameras. We’re just going to be right there,” he pointed again, where there were some props set up in the center of a ring of lights and cameras.  
  
“Alright,” she smiled, hesitantly sitting down in the chair that had his name stenciled on it.  
  
“I’ll come back when we get a break,” he smiled.

* * *

 

“Ugh, I swear they write Dean slamming in to walls on purpose,” Jensen groaned, rolling his shoulders as they made their way back to the wardrobe trailer after dark.  
  
Tareena laughed, half tempted to reach up and rub his shoulders in a teasing manner but thought better of it, seeing as she did just meet these guys.  
  
“Hey!” Jared grinned, spinning around to walk backwards. “You guys up for dinner?”  
  
Jensen shrugged, looking over at Tareena.  
  
“Sure…” she said slowly.  
  
“Whattya got in mind?” Jensen asked.  
  
“Gotham?”  
  
“Ooo, yeah,” he grinned, pointing at Jared.  
  
“Batman?” Tareena asked with an arch of her brow.  
  
Jared laughed. “No, it’s a steakhouse, really good food, you’ll like it.”  
  
She shrugged, “Alright.”  
  
“Cool,” he grinned, just in time to trip and fall flat on his ass, both Jensen and Tareena trying and failing to catch him before he fell.  
  
“Smooth,” Jensen laughed, offering him a hand up.

* * *

 

She sucked in a breath as soon as they were through the front doors of the restaurant.  
  
The seats were all leather and velvet. Walls and booths made out of elegant dark wood. Iron accents that lead up the spiral staircases to a balcony. Vivid original artwork hung on some of the walls, cubbyholes filled with wine made up the rest.  
  
Everything overwhelmed her in an instant and Jensen actually had to take her elbow just to bring her back to the present when the maître d' led them to their table.  
  
She swallowed hard as the server pulled out her chair for her and offered to take their drink orders.  
  
At a complete loss and having no idea what they even had for a selection she stuttered out that a water was fine.  
  
With a nod and clasped hands he walked away.  
  
“Pretty cool right?” Jared grinned, opening up his menu.  
  
“Yeah,” she mumbled, eyes drawn to the crystal glasses and actual silver silverware arranged on the table.  
  
She cracked open her own menu and glanced over the selection.  
  
No doubt the food there would be exceptional.   
  
But she’d never get the chance to try it.  
  
The appetizers themselves had price tags attached to them that were higher than what she would pay for a whole dinner somewhere else.  
  
Suddenly the posh atmosphere seemed claustrophobic and she closed the menu with an audible snap.  
  
Jensen and Jared’s eyes both peeked over their own books.  
  
“I um…I’m just, gonna go…to the bathroom real quick,” she stuttered out.  
  
“Alright, we’ll wait till you get back,” Jensen grinned.  
  
She faked a smile back and tried to compose herself enough to at least get out of her chair without stumbling.  
  
She never had the intention of going to the bathroom and instead veered towards the exit, inhaling gulps of cool city air as soon as she was through the doors.  
  
She could hear the people talking on the restaurant’s patio. The soft music playing inside. The cars that were going up and down the street.  
  
She tried to focus on the sounds. Tried to will her composure back in place. Tried to think of back home. Tried to equate the city sounds of Vancouver to the city sounds of central Florida.  
  
She tried and failed.

* * *

 

“Are you ready to order gentlemen?”  
  
Jared looked up, “I am, but we’re waiting for our friend.”  
  
“Of course,” the man smiled and once again left the table.  
  
“I think I’m gonna get the Porterhouse,” Jensen mumbled, running his finger down the menu.  
  
“Where’s Tareena?” Jared asked, closing his menu.  
  
Jensen looked up, glancing around the dining room, before finally taking a look at his watch.  
  
“I dunno,” he said, his brows drawing down in concern and confusion.  
  
“She’s been gone for like ten minutes,” Jared said, his concern growing as well.  
  
“I’m gonna go look for her,” Jensen said, sliding out of his chair.

* * *

 

“There you are!” he almost shouted as he slipped past a couple people making their way into the restaurant.  
  
She spun around in surprise.  
  
“You freaked me and Jared out, I actually sent a waitress into the bathroom to look for you.”  
  
“Sorry,” she mumbled, fixing her eyes on the pavement.  
  
“Hey,” he said quieting his tone, “Are you okay?” he asked, placing his hand on the small of her back as she turned back towards the street.  
  
“Yeah,” she said, trying her best to smile convincingly. “Yeah, I’m just not feeling too well.”  
  
“You want me to take you home? Or get you a taxi or something?” he asked, eyes already shooting down the road.  
  
“I drove here, remember?”  
  
“Well yeah, but if you’re not feeling okay we can take you home. I’ll go get Jared,” he started, already mid-turn back towards the door.  
  
“No! Jensen…no, I’m…I’m fine, really.”  
  
“You okay for dinner? The waiter’s ready to take our orders.”  
  
Her mouth went to move but nothing came out and it wasn’t until then he really noticed the panicked gloss to her eyes, the way she seemed ready to bolt in an instant.  
  
“Tareena, what’s wrong?”  
  
“I just…I have to go. I’m sorry for bailing like this, I just…I have to go,” she shot out, taking off down the sidewalk and around the corner to the parking lot.  
  
“Wait! Tareena!” by the time he caught up her Monte Carlo’s engine was already revving and he had to step back onto the sidewalk as she tore out of the parking lot.

* * *

 

“Hey,” Jensen said breathless, yanking his jacket on, “something’s wrong.”  
  
“What? Is she okay?” Jared asked, already starting to stand.   
  
“I don’t know, she just…she just left, said she wasn’t feeling well but I dunno…”  
  
Jensen was halfway across the dining room when he realized Jared wasn’t behind him and he stopped and turned around. “C’mon!”  
  
“Jensen,” Jared whispered, walking over to him to make sure the entire place didn’t hear their conversation. “What are you planning on doing? Tracking her down? It’s nearly midnight.”  
  
Jensen sighed. “She looked…scared…or something.”  
  
“Do you even know where she’s staying?”  
  
“She said something about a hostel? Earlier today. On uh…Pender Street?”  
  
“Look…” Jared sighed, trying to figure out why Jensen was ready to take off after a fan that he had known for less than week. “Let’s just eat dinner, we can figure out where she’s staying tomorrow and you can go see if she’s okay.”  
  
Jensen cast one more look out the front doors before reluctantly agreeing.  
  
Jared’s worried eyes kept track of him the rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen eyed the mint green and brick red building in confusion, double checking the address he had scribbled down from online for the American Backpacker's Hostel.  
  
Certainly this rundown building couldn’t be where she was staying…could it?  
  
The door squeaked as he swung it open and stepped inside.  
  
“Hello?” he asked tentatively, slipping the scrap of paper back in his pocket, not seeing any sort of check in desk or anything.  
  
He heard some talking and walked slowly to the doorway. There were a couple guys eating what looked to be breakfast over in a booth.  
  
“Hey man, you lookin’ to check in? Cindy just took the garbage out, she’ll be right back.”  
  
“Uh…no,” Jensen said slowly, quickly taking in the small kitchen, eyeing the cabinets that didn’t quite close right and the stove that looked as old as him. “Um…actually I’m looking for somebody…name’s Tareena.”

“Oh Monte! Uh yeah sure, just head on down the hall, second door on the left.”  
  
“Thanks,” Jensen smiled uneasily and turned to go the way the guy had pointed.  
  
He politely smiled at a couple of the people he passed, trying to not let the down in the dumps feel of the place bother him.  
  
His mom would have a field day in this place. Scrubbing and shellacking the floor, painting the walls, picking out curtains. The place sure could use it.  
  
Sure enough two doors down and he found her folding some clothes and rearranging her duffle bag, standing by a plain black metal frame bunk bed.  
  
He knocked twice on the door, glancing over at the other girl in the room reading a magazine on the other set of beds.  
  
“You’re not leaving are you?” he asked quietly.  
  
Tareena’s eyes shot up in surprise and the jeans she had been so carefully folding got rolled and shoved in her bag.  
  
“Jensen…” she shot a look over at her roommate, who was eyeing them both, “I’ll be right back Kate,” she smiled shoving her bag in a locker, slamming it shut and grabbed Jensen’s elbow, pulling him down the hall into the small rec room with a pool table that had definitely seen better days.  
  
“What are you doing here?” she hissed, trying to keep her voice down.  
  
He fixed her with a stunned expression. “What do you mean what am I doing here? The way you took off last night, you freaked me out, I wanted to see if you were alright. I’m kinda wondering about that,” he said, throwing a pointed glance around the room.  
  
“Don’t. I’m fine.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yes,” she said, crossing her arms and trying to dial down the bitchy tone she had been spitting at him. “I just…I didn’t feel good last night.”  
  
“I think that’s bullshit,” he said, crossing his arms too.  
  
“Just…what do you want Jensen?” she asked, letting her arms fall to her sides again.  
  
“Why did you leave?” he asked, seeing someone walk by the door and glance in on them.  
  
Tareena stepped over and shut the door quietly. “I couldn’t…I just couldn’t stay there,” she said quietly.  
  
“At Gotham? Why?”  
  
She laughed cynically, “Because if you and Jared hadn’t have taken me there I never would have stepped foot in that joint.”  
  
“What does that mean?” he asked, brow drawing down.  
  
“I couldn’t afford the appetizers let alone the dinners!” she said.  
  
“So? Me and Jared were gonna get the tab…”  
  
“That’s not the point!” she said, cutting him off. “Don’t you see?” she asked, motioning to the room around them. “ _This_ , is what I can afford, hostels and fast food joints, not restaurants where a plate of food costs more than it takes to fill up my car!”  
  
His face fell, finally understanding that she had been uncomfortable the night before.  
  
“Look…I’m sorry, I didn’t think about it. That…that wasn’t, normal, for you,” he stumbled.  
  
“Don’t,” she stopped him. “You don’t have to think about that Jensen, you were trying to do something nice, and I appreciate it I really do. This trip was a dream of mine and the fact that I got to meet you guys, let alone hang out all day, you just…you don’t even know what that means. But…” she sighed.  
  
“What?” he asked quietly.  
  
“As much as you’re still a hometown Texas boy and not a Hollywood whore, which I  _love_ about you…it just…it hits me sometimes, how different we really are. We’re from two different worlds. I don’t belong in yours, I never have.”   
  
“Tareena…”  
  
“Just…just don’t,” she said quietly.   
  
“If you know half as much about me as I think you do,” he laughed nervously, “Than you know I’m not exactly a fan-friendly guy. Don’t get me wrong, I love you guys, but ya’ll scare me.”  
  
She smirked.  
  
He sighed, “And yet, I felt…comfortable around you…and the fact that I tracked your butt all the way back here just to check on you should mean something.”  
  
She tried to say something back, the words getting lodged against the lump in her throat. “It does,” she finally forced out quietly.  
  
“Come back to set with me…please.”  
  
“Jensen…”  
  
“Please?” he asked again.  
  
“Oh don’t give me that look,” she groaned, crossing her arms and looking away before turning back to him.  
  
He grinned, but stuck his lip out in a comical pout.  
  
“Please?”  
  
“I hate you,” she smiled.

* * *

 

“Hey! You’re back!” Jared grinned, jogging over and pulling her into a hug before yanking back to hold her at arms length. “Are you okay?”  
  
She smiled, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just had a bit of an upset stomach.”  
  
“Okay, good. I mean, not good, but you scared us last night.”  
  
“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that,” she grinned.  
  
“Jared get your ass back over here!” one of the PAs called and Tareena laughed pushing him as he went running back to where he was supposed to be.  
  
“What?” she asked, turning to Jensen who was just staring at her with this look on his face.  
  
“Upset stomach huh?”  
  
“Yeah…what? You think you’re the only one who can act?” she smiled sarcastically, walking away before he could say anything back.

* * *

 

Jensen managed to pull her away from filming when Jared was shooting one of his scenes and he had some downtime.  
  
“Come on,” he said leading his way to his trailer.  
  
“So what?” he asked as soon as the door was closed. “You’re just gonna pretend like nothing happened? Like none of this bothers you?”  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“You ran out on us last night and then you act all fine today.”  
  
“First off  _you_  asked me to come back.  _You_  came and got me at the hostel so drop the attitude. And second of all yeah, I am gonna act fine. Because you know what? That’s a hell of a lot safer than freaking the fuck out like I am inside.”  
  
“Look, I went and got you ‘cause I was worried about you, and you know what? Maybe I had fun hanging out yesterday with someone other than Jared. But I know this shit is bothering you and  _sorry_  if I’m a little concerned that you’re just sweeping everything under the rug!”  
  
“Don’t you dare,” she hissed. “Don’t you dare try to tell me how to deal with my issues. You don’t know  _shit_  about me. I’m just some stray you picked up and decided to feed for a couple weeks.”  
  
“You are not!” he growled. “I get that this kind of thing makes you uncomfortable okay? I get that you’re not used to the lights and glam…”  
  
“Do you?” she said softly.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Do you know what it’s like? What it’s like to beg your Mom at thirteen years old for a work permit so you can help pay the bills and hopefully keep the house from foreclosure?” she said, voice breaking.  
  
“You know what it’s like to roll coins so you can buy a gallon of milk? Eat hotdogs for dinner? Do you know what it’s like to have your Dad quit his job on a Friday and you break your arm on Monday with no insurance and no way to pay the medical bills? Or how about working two jobs while you’re still in high school? Having a brother that you haven’t seen in years because he wants  _nothing_  to do with your family? Or maybe…maybe you know how it feels when your Mom gets diagnosed with cancer and you have to fight Medicaid every month to get her chemo ‘cause you’re barely surviving on your Dad’s disability check as it is.”  
  
Jensen swallowed hard, shoulders slumping as her eyes glazed over with tears.  
  
“Or how about Medicaid threatening to cut of your Mom’s aid because you’re still living in the house with them and you actually have a job? And just maybe you know what it feels like to have to have your sister pay the funeral home just to get your Mom’s ashes because you can’t fucking afford it. Or having your Dad tell you when he’s in a goddamned hospital bed that he would have just given up if you weren’t around.  
  
“Right Jensen, you  _so_  understand where I’m coming from.”  
  
There was an uncomfortable beat of silence before Jensen managed to locate his voice somewhere in the vicinity of his knees and hauled it back up to his throat.  
  
“God…I didn’t…I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” he rumbled, voice soft as she looked away from him, blinking back the tears she refused to let fall.  
  
“No, you didn’t,” she said meeting his eyes again. “Why do you think I like Dean so much?” she whispered.  
  
“The car, the music, the clothes…that’s me, sure, but…the way he takes care of his family, shoulders every  _god_ damned thing,” she said softly, voice breaking.  
  
At that moment Jensen understood. She might have been a fan and she might have enjoyed the fight scenes and the slick car, hard rock and two pretty boys that played the leads but it went way deeper than that for her. And it was the first time he was face to face with the fact that what he did meant so much more to somebody than just an hour of entertainment on TV.  
  
“Look, I’m sorry,” he said softly, crossing the trailer to stand next to her. “I didn’t know. This hasn’t always been my life, I mean, my parents were hardly loaded, but you’re right, I have no idea where you came from and I had no right to say that.”  
  
She smiled cynically, “You don’t have to apologize. You guys have been nothing but nice to me since I’ve been here, god…I can’t believe I just snapped at you like that,” she mumbled, covering her face with her hand.  
  
Jensen chuckled beside her and nudged her shoulder with his own.  
  
“I kinda deserved it.”  
  
She laughed and dropped her hand and Jensen could feel the air lighten around them a little bit.  
  
“We okay?” he asked hesitantly.  
  
She chuckled, “Are you kidding me? You could kill a puppy and we’d be okay.”  
  
“Good to know,” he laughed.  
  
“I didn’t come all this way to meet Dean…or even Jensen, the guy who has a house in LA and his own TV show,” she said quietly, causing him to turn and look at her in confusion. “I wanted to meet Jensen, the guy who grew up in Texas. The guy who loves his Mom and used to help his Dad learn his lines,” she grinned, voice going soft, still staring at where his laptop sat on the table across from them.  
  
“That’s who you met,” he said softly, giving her a small smirk when she turned to look at him. “I think maybe that’s why I feel comfortable with you. You don’t treat me like a celebrity. I just…I feel like I’m just a guy back home hanging with his buddies.”  
  
“Promise me something,” she said, holding his eyes.  
  
“Anything,” he whispered, trapped in her gaze.  
  
“Promise me…you’ll never forget how lucky you are,” she finished quietly, eyes glazing over with tears again.  
  
Jensen swallowed hard, turning and pulling her into a hug.  
  
“I promise,” he mumbled into her hair, holding her against his chest.  
  
“Can you do me a favor though?” he asked, pulling back enough to look at her.  
  
“What?” she asked, brow drawing down in confusion.  
  
“Let me pay to get you a hotel room.”  
  
“No,” she said, cutting him off.  
  
“Come on, you could have your own room, own  _bathroom…”_  
  
“No Jensen,” she said again, holding his eyes when his jaw snapped shut.  
  
“My whole life I’ve had to depend on handouts, even when I didn’t want to. My brother was sending me money every month for years after I was out of high school. This trip was for  _me_.  _I_  did this, by myself and I’m not about to start leeching off of you.”  
  
“It’s not leeching…”  
  
“No,” she said soft but firm.  
  
He sighed, “Alright.”  
  
“But can I at least like…take you to dinner or something?”  
  
Her eyebrow arched and he had to bite back a laugh at the Dean look she shot him.  
  
“Because that went so well last time.”  
  
He did laugh at that, “No, no more Gotham, like…McDonald’s or something. There’s this awesome little pizza place downtown, their large is like six bucks!” he rushed to say when she opened her mouth to cut him off. “I’m not letting you leave Vancouver ‘til you see Jared devour a pizza by himself.”  
  
She laughed. “Alright, fine.”  
  
Jensen smiled back, turning when an assistant director knocked on the door, letting him know they were going to need him back on set in another twenty minutes.  
  
“You want a beer?” he asked, heading over to the small refrigerator after the AD had left.  
  
“Sure,” she grinned, reaching out just to have him pull the bottle back from her reach.  
  
“Wait…you  _are_  legal right?”  
  
She arched her brow again at him. “ _Yes_.”  
  
“What year were you born?” he asked, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.  
  
“’87 Not that it’s any of your business,” she grinned back, snatching the bottle from his hand.  
  
“Damn.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I just didn’t think there was like ten years between us.”  
  
“Nine.”  
  
“Oh, nine, sorry.”  
  
“Shut up,” she grinned, throwing her bottle cap at his head.  
  
“Geez, you’re just a kid!” he grinned, faltering when she didn’t smile back.  
  
“Kinda not,” she said softly.  
  
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quietly, pulling her into another hug.  
  
“I know,” she sighed.  
  
“Sorry baby girl,” he grinned, kissing her quick on the tip of her nose before busting out laughing and bolting for the door.  
  
“Oh you bastard!” she yelled, as she jumped off the steps of his trailer and ran after him.


	4. Chapter 4

“Alright, I’ve got pizza, beer, soda, candy and…extra controllers,” Jared said, crashing his way through Jensen’s front door.  
  
“Took you long enough,” Jensen grinned, walking over to help him with the mass of supplies he had in his arms.  
  
“Shut up Shmack.”  
  
Tareena just leaned her hip against the doorway to the kitchen and smirked.  
  
“Thanks for the help,” Jensen said sarcastically as he carried the four pizza boxes over to the counter.  
  
“No problem,” she smiled.  
  
Jared was humming something, opening up the pizza box and hauling out two stringy slices before walking over to the living room.  
  
"You drop that shit on my carpet and I swear to god you’re gonna wake up bald Padalecki!”

“Shum ump,” Jared mumbled around a mouth full of cheese and crust.  
  
Tareena grinned, grabbing a piece before following.  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes but turned around and did the exact same thing.  
  
“Alright,” Jared grinned, rubbing his hands together as he slipped ‘Halo’ into the system.  
  
Tareena kicked back on the couch behind them.  
  
“Here ya go,” Jared said, holding out a controller.  
  
“Uh…no.”  
  
“Oh come on!” he whined.  
  
“Are you kidding me?” she smiled, “I haven’t played video games since I was in middle school…I think I’ll pass on being slaughtered, but thanks.”  
  
“It’s not that hard!” he said, grinning wide.  
  
“Ha! Yeah right, I tried to play TimeSplitters once with my friends…yeaaah, that didn’t turn out too well. Gimme a controller that’s got two buttons and a directional pad and I’m good. But three joy sticks and a dozen buttons? Dude, you don’t even have that many fingers.”  
  
Jensen laughed, cramming the rest of his pizza in his mouth, wiping his hands on his pants and picking up his controller.  
  
“Come on, we’ll go easy on you.”  
  
She laughed, “No thanks, I think I’ll just watch.”  
  
“Fine,” Jared whined, starting up the game.

* * *

 

Tareena hopped off the couch, headed for the kitchen, smiling as Jared cussed Jensen out behind her.  
  
“Hey baby girl!” Jensen called.  
  
She popped her head back out of the kitchen and arched her eyebrow.  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“Can you get me a beer?” he grinned.  
  
“Do I  _look_  like your waitress?”  
  
“Please?” he asked, sticking out his lip.  
  
“Oh don’t you dare…”  
  
He grinned, still trying to keep up the puppy dog look.  
  
“Hey Jared honey,” she grinned, still looking at Jensen.  
  
“Yeah,” he asked, pausing his game to look up at her.  
  
“You want a beer sweetheart?” she smiled.  
  
“Uh…sure, thanks,” he grinned.  
  
She winked, shooting a look at Jensen as she disappeared back into the kitchen.  
  
“Did you just call her baby girl?” Jared asked, finally catching up to the conversation, turning his head to look at Jensen in confusion.  
  
Jensen just laughed before she came back out, two sweating beer bottles in her hand.  
  
She handed one to Jared, smirking at Jensen when he held his hand out and stepped over him to get to the couch.  
  
He had half a smirk, half a pout on his face as he watched Jared play his game and felt her lay back down on the couch behind him, dropping his empty hand back into his lap.  
  
He had kind of asked for it.  
  
He felt something cold and wet come down on his shoulder and turned his head to see her smirking at him, bottle rolling across his shirt.  
  
He just grinned, reaching up to take it from her.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“Uh huh,” she grinned.

* * *

 

“Hey…Tareena,” Jensen said softly, shaking her leg.  
  
“Hmm?” she asked, cracking her eyes open to see Jared sprawled out over the floor in a twisted position she was sure he was gonna regret in the morning.  
  
“Why don’t you go lay down in the guest room, it’s a hell of a lot more comfortable than the couch.”  
  
She turned away from Jared’s snores to blink at Jensen where he was crouched down by her knees.  
  
“Uh, thanks…but I, I should go back to the hostel,” she mumbled, rubbing her hand across her face.  
  
“No way, we’re all dead and I’m not about to let you drive half way across town when there’s a perfectly good bed here.”  
  
“Let Jared use it, I’m fine.”  
  
“Jared can use the couch.”  
  
“The couch isn’t even big enough for him.”  
  
“He’s done it before.”  
  
She rolled her eyes, sitting up and digging at her eyes.  
  
“Thanks, but I should just go.”  
  
“Oh come on,” he whispered, “Don’t make me pout at you.”  
  
She dropped her hand and glared at him.  
  
“Come on,” he chuckled.  
  
She groaned but smiled, “Fine.”

* * *

 

“Here ya go,” Jensen said, holding out a pair of pajama pants. “More comfortable to sleep in than jeans.”  
  
She eyed the grey fabric in his hand before looking back up at him again.  
  
“They’re clean, promise,” he smiled, “I don’t wear ‘em much anymore.”  
  
“Thanks,” she grinned, taking them from him and disappearing into the bathroom.

* * *

 

She heard Jensen in the kitchen and headed in that direction to get a glass of water.  
  
She stopped just in the doorway, biting her tongue to keep from laughing.  
  
“What?” Jensen asked, lowering his own glass of water to the counter.  
  
She shook her head, trying not to bust out laughing. “Just a…just an inside joke, between me and my friend.”  
  
Jensen’s eyebrow arched, mouth tugging up into a grin. “What?”  
  
“I’m…I’m in your pants,” she grinned, snorting back laughter.  
  
He chuckled deep in his chest, trying to stay quite. “Yeah…I guess you are.”  
  
She shook her head, taking a glass from the cabinet and filling it at the faucet.  
  
“Tell ya what,” he said, heading back towards the hallway. “You can keep ‘em,” he winked, kissing her on the tip of the nose before heading to bed. “Night baby girl,” he grinned, laughing when she glared at him over the rim of her glass.

* * *

 

“That better be bacon I smell,” she said, running her hands through her hair as she hopped up onto the stool next to where Jared was already shoveling scrambled eggs into his mouth.  
  
“Sure is, you want some eggs?” Jensen asked turning around from the stove.  
  
“Thanks,” she grinned.  
  
“Seriously?” she asked, eyeing Jared like he was an animal as he stopped long enough to breathe between bites and looked at her.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Nothing,” she grinned, taking a glass of milk from Jensen when he offered. “Thanks,” she smiled.  
  
“Dude!”  
  
Jensen and Tareena both paused to look over at Jared who was staring at her.  
  
He pointed a finger in her face before whipping his head back around to stare at Jensen.  
  
“You let her borrow your pants?”  
  
Tareena snorted, trying to hold back a laugh as Jensen chuckled.  
  
“You don’t even let  _me_  borrow your pants!”  
  
“Oh god,” she giggled.  
  
“You borrow my pants and they’ll never fit me again,” Jensen grinned, waving a spatula at him.  
  
Jared stared at him wide eyed for a minute.   
  
“Okay, true,” he shrugged, going back to his food.  
  
Tareena just rolled her eyes.

* * *

 

“So whatdyou wanna do today?” Jensen asked around his own mouthful of eggs.  
  
Tareena looked up at him, then over at Jared and back to Jensen.  
  
“You talking to me?”  
  
“Yeah,” he grinned. “It’s the weekend, we actually have time to do something besides drag your butt all over set.”  
  
She shrugged, sipping her milk. “Doesn’t matter.”  
  
“We should take her to see some of the places we’ve filmed, she’ll probably recognize ‘em more than we do,” Jared grinned.  
  
“Shut up,” she laughed, pushing his shoulder.  
  
“It’s true,” he grinned, leg stretched out to catch himself from falling off the barstool.  
  
“It’s up to you man,” Jensen said, finishing off the eggs on his plate.  
  
“That’s cool,” she said, taking hers and Jared’s plate to the sink. “Have to stop at a gas station and get a camera though.”  
  
“One of those disposable things?” Jared asked, getting up from his seat.  
  
“No, one of the big ones they use to shoot your ugly mug with…yes a disposable one.”  
  
“Screw that,” he said, throwing down a napkin he had been wiping his hands with, “we’ll stop by Best Buy and I’ll get you a digital one,” he added, heading off to the bathroom before she could say anything back.  
  
Jensen looked up from his plate at her. She had frozen, her and Jared’s plates half in the sink, half out, hand on the faucet.  
  
“I’ll stop him if you want me to,” he said quietly.  
  
She turned to look at him, plate finally clinking against the sink.  
  
“No…I just…it’s fine.”  
  
“Tareena…”  
  
“I’m okay,” she smiled, coming back over to sit across from him and took a sip of her milk.  
  
“If it bothers you I’ll sidetrack him,” he said. “I know you don’t want us going out of our way to pay for stuff for you.”  
  
She smirked cynically, staring into the white liquid at the bottom of the glass before putting it back on the counter and sighing.  
  
“No, it’s okay. He’s trying to be nice, you both are, and I gotta get used to that.”  
  
He just continued to watch her and shot her a smirk when she smiled at him.

* * *

 

“You better come back soon,” Kim grinned, hugging Tareena before she made her way to her car two weeks later. “You’re way easier on the eyes than these two idiots.”  
  
She laughed, “I’ll try…don’t kill ‘em while I’m gone.”  
  
He laughed too before having to return to work and Jared and Jensen walked with her over to her car.  
  
Halfway there and one of the PAs grabbed Jared’s arm. “They need you in makeup,” she said. Sam was beat to hell and back in this episode and as a result Jared had to sit through way more makeup than normal.  
  
“Okay thanks,” he smiled, turning back to Tareena. “Sorry babe.”  
  
“It’s okay,” she smiled, squealing when he picked her off the ground completely in a tight hug. “I know you’ll be talking to this clown,” he said, slapping Jensen on the back, “But you better call me.”  
  
“I will,” she grinned, hugging him again before he jogged off to get his face put on.  
  
Jensen sighed.  
  
“Call me when you stop tonight, lemme know you’re okay?”  
  
“Okay,  _mom_.”  
  
“Shut up,” he grumbled, pulling her into a hug. “You’ve got a long trip ahead of you…alone and…”  
  
“Oh my god shut up, I’ll call you geez,” she grinned, pulling back.  
  
“Leave me alone,” he grinned.  
  
She laughed at him, hugging him again. He and Jared both had offered to pick up the costs of the trip and let her stay for a couple more weeks, but she insisted on having to do this on her own and well, that meant the money was running dry and she had just enough to get her home.  
  
“I’ll miss you,” he rumbled, vibration through his chest and straight into her. “Jared gets boring,” he grinned pulling back.  
  
She rolled her eyes with a smile.  
  
“Be careful baby girl,” he grinned, leaning forward to kiss the tip of her nose.  
  
She sighed, hugging him again before getting into her car, door slamming shut and the radio blasting through the speakers as soon as soon as the key was turned.  
  
“I’ll call you, promise,” she smiled, before pushing the car into reverse, squealing the tires as she turned tight and left set.  
  
They talked every day after that.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hey you.”  
  
“Hey, what’s going on?”  
  
“Nothin,’ just on the computer. Sup?”  
  
“Got a favor to ask you.”  
  
“Shoot.”  
  
“The CW’s got some green carpet gig bullshit that me and Jared have to go to.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“Wondering if you’d go with me.”

Tareena laughed, “Seriously? What about your girlfriend?”  
  
“She’s still shooting her movie. Can’t and doesn’t wanna fly all the way back to this coast just for a weekend party.”  
  
“And yet you expect me to.”  
  
“No…I mean…I don’t  _expect_  you to…”  
  
“You crack me up,” she grinned, switching the phone to her other ear while she answered some emails.  
  
“Does that mean that you’ll come?”  
  
“You gonna buy me a plane ticket? ‘Cause you know damn well I can’t just pick up and leave unlike  _some_  people.”  
  
“Hey now!” he teased. “Of course I’m paying for the tickets…and the dress,” he mumbled.  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
“Well…it’s sort of…formal.”  
  
“I’m gonna kill you.”  
  
 _“Please?”_  
  
“Oh my god! Don’t even look at me in that tone of voice!”  
  
“What?!” he laughed.  
  
“Dude! I can hear you pouting over the phone!”  
  
“Oh come on! Sandy’s going with Jared…”  
  
“Sandy’s his girlfriend!”  
  
“Come on baby girl…”  
  
“Oh how dare you use that baby girl crap!”  
  
He laughed, “Gimme a break, I can hear you laughing. Come on, it’s  _one_  night in a dress, you can deal with that.”  
  
“You do realize you owe me like  _big time_  for this right?”  
  
“Is that a yes?”  
  
“That’s a you owe me  _big friggin’ time_  for this bullshit,” she laughed, “Go book my plane ticket jerk and call me back.”  
  
“You’re the best you know that right?”  
  
“Shut up,” she grinned, snapping the phone closed.

* * *

“Tareena! Come on, you’ve been in there for an hour! Can I at least  _see_ ?”

  
“I’ve been in here for fifteen minutes! And no you can’t!” she yelled back through the dressing room door.  
  
“Oh come on, I’m gonna see it tomorrow night anyways.”  
  
“That’s if I don’t bail on your annoying ass.”  
  
Jensen just laughed, smiling politely at the store manager that had eyed them when they came in like they were hoodlums. Granted, Jensen was use to these kind of stores, but Tareena had shown up in worn blue jeans and a black t-shirt and then proceeded to call two-thirds of the store either crap, offensive…or both.  
  
He stumbled to catch himself when she yanked the door open, sudden loss of support behind his back.  
  
“You pick one?”  
  
She rolled her eyes, pushing him out of the way and went walking up to the counter, black fabric wrapped in plastic in such a mess that Jensen  _still_  couldn’t tell what it was she had finally decided on. She snatched a box of shoes off a shelf without even stopping on her way towards the cash register.  
  
“Did you find everything you needed?” the girl asked, younger and much more polite than the old bat that had been trailing them the entire time.  
  
“Sure did,” Tareena smiled. Jensen froze, wallet in his hand, still surprised by how easily she could slip into whatever role she needed. “Just don’t let him see,” she winked, lowering her voice and leaning over the counter.  
  
“No problem,” the girl grinned back, quick swish of a bag and she had the dress on a hanger and hid before Jensen even had his credit card pulled out.  
  
“You guys are ridiculous,” he laughed, handing over the plastic.  
  
“But you love it,” Tareena grinned.

* * *

 

“Just for the record, I hate your guts,” she groaned.  
  
“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.”  
  
“Says the guy in pants.”  
  
Jensen laughed, “Come on! We’re gonna be late.”  
  
“Shut up!”  
  
“Hey,” Jared knocked his knuckles on the door, popping his head in the bedroom. “Where is she?”  
  
“Still in the bathroom,” Jensen groaned, glaring at Jared when he walked up next to him laughing.  
  
“Is that Jared?”  
  
“Yes! Now you’re gonna make us  _all_  late.”  
  
“Watch it or you’re gonna trade in that tux for a body bag,” she growled through the door.  
  
Finally the lock on the bathroom door clicked and Jensen was just about to spout something off when she stepped out.  
  
Midnight black gown, metallic sheen on the crisp taffeta that swept up from the floor just to melt into lace that wove and danced through sheer tulle that showed just the hint of skin underneath before blending into a solid woven lace design that covered her chest.  
  
“Holy…” Jared whispered.  
  
One hand holding the hem from the ground she pointed a finger at Jared.  
  
“I will  _end_  you,” she growled, silver-blue eyes framed with black, brown hair falling around her face with a soft wave, burnished silver leaf necklace draped around her neck, accenting the subtle floral design on the lace.  
  
He held his hands up in surrender, biting back a smile.  
  
“Jared! I just messed up my makeup! I need the keys to the truck!” Sandy called from the kitchen.  
  
Jared leaned forward, half expecting her to hit him and bent down to kiss her cheek.  
  
“You look beautiful,” he whispered, smiling at her when a faint blush burned up her cheeks before leaving to go help Sandy.  
  
Jensen was still staring, slack jawed.  
  
“What?” she said softly.  
  
“You just… _wow_ ,” he whispered.  
  
Her face flushed and she shifted nervously on her feet.  
  
“I fucking hate dresses,” she mumbled, finally snapping Jensen out of his shock and he smiled at her.  
  
“You shouldn’t, ‘cause you look  _amazing.”_  
  
She rolled her eyes, dropping her hold on the dress when he stepped in close and pressed a kiss to her forehead, hands linking in hers.  
  
“You do,” he whispered, meeting her eyes. “The cameras are gonna have a field day with you.”  
  
“Oh god,” she groaned, burying her face in his shirt.  
  
His chest rumbled with a laugh, hands running down the barely there back of her dress.  
  
“Come on baby girl,” he grinned, hooking his arm through hers and pulling her towards the door.

* * *

 

“You let go of my hand and I’ll kill you,” she hissed, white knuckle grip around his arm.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“’Cause I still can’t see, fucking camera flashes.”  
  
He laughed, squeezing her hand and leading her towards their seats.  
  
He looked over at her when she started laughing softly after they had sat down.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Those pictures are gonna be all over the internet tomorrow.”  
  
“Wouldn’t surprise me.”  
  
“Yeah, but you forget I  _talk_  to those people, I’m one of the fangirls remember?”  
  
He laughed.  
  
“It’s just kinda hilarious, they’ll be bitching back and forth about who showed up with you and they’ll have no idea it’s me,” she grinned.  
  
“You know I appreciate that right?”  
  
“What?” she asked, turning to look at him.  
  
“That you don’t, you know, broadcast it, all over the internet.”  
  
“Are you kidding me? You know me better than that!”  
  
“I know! I’m just saying…I appreciate it.”  
  
She rolled her eyes and smiled at him, “Loser.”

* * *

 

Halfway through the presentation, ceremony, whatever this thing was that he had dragged her to she started shivering.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
“No, it’s freaking freezing in here,” she hissed, rubbing at her arms.  
  
“Here,” Jensen said, slipping his coat off and draping it over her shoulders.  
  
“Now you’re gonna be cold.”  
  
“I’m fine, I’m wearing two shirts, you on the other hand,” waving his hand towards the nonexistent middle of her dress.  
  
“Am wearing nothing. Thanks for reminding me,” she grinned.  
  
He laughed and pulled her into his shoulder, rubbing at her arm.

* * *

 

Finally they eased the lights back up and Tareena looked around as people started to leave their seats.  
  
“Thank god, is this thing over?”  
  
“No…there’s the after party now.”  
  
She groaned, “Are you  _kidding me?”_  
  
He smiled and took her hand as she got out of her seat. “Unfortunately, no.”  
  
“There better be alcohol,” she hissed.

* * *

 

Jensen had been polite, schmoozed with the appropriate people, tried to hang out with Jared and Sandy for a good part of it and then just sort of…camped out in a corner with Tareena.  
  
“Can we leave yet?”  
  
“No,” he grinned, bringing her another drink.  
  
The band they had there started playing a slow song and Jensen turned and grinned at her.   
  
“Dance with me.”  
  
“ _What?!_  No!”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“’Cause I don’t dance.”  
  
“Oh come on,” he grinned, trying to take her hand.  
  
“Watch it,” she growled brandishing the miniature plastic sword that had been in her drink. “I’ll castrate you with this thing.”  
  
He laughed, “No you won’t. Come on.”  
  
“No!”  
  
“Oh come on! It’s just me!”  
  
“So?! Dude, I don’t dance! I’ve never danced in my life.”  
  
His eyes went wide. “Bullshit! What about Prom?”  
  
“I didn’t go.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“’Cause no one asked me,” she said with a pointed look, finishing off her drink.  
  
Jensen stumbled for a moment.  
  
“What about your sister’s wedding? You were the Maid of Honor, you’re supposed to dance with the Best Man.”  
  
“Ha, that’s hilarious.”  
  
Jensen just stood there and stared at her for a minute.  
  
“Come on,” he said, snatching her glass from her and putting it on the table behind them, grabbing her hand, “You’re dancing with me.”  
  
“What?! Jensen!” she hissed, digging her heels in impressively.  
  
“Come on, it’s just me. No one’s even paying attention. I’m not letting you out of this. I may never get the chance to get you in a dress again.”  
  
She stared at him, eyes wide, fingers digging into his arm.  
  
“Are you kidding me?”  
  
“No,” he said simply, holding her eyes.  
  
“Fuck,” she hissed, as he dragged her out into the empty space where a few other couples were dancing.  
  
He pulled her in close, shooting her a smirk when she fumbled before putting her arms around his neck.  
  
“Just relax.”  
  
“Just shut up.”  
  
He chuckled and pulled her in closer.  
  
“I fucking hate you,” she whispered, voice breaking as she tried to match his movements.  
  
“I hate you too baby girl,” he grinned, fingers splayed across the small of her back, resting his cheek on her hair when he felt her relax a little.

* * *

 

“Never again,” she groaned, walking in the door to his apartment.  
  
“It wasn’t  _that_  bad,” he grinned, taking off his tie.  
  
She stumbled, yanking off her shoes and tossing them blindly into the living room.   
  
“I wore  _heels_  for you dude.  _Never. Again.”_  
  
He laughed, unbuttoning the first couple buttons on his shirt and rolling up the sleeves.  
  
“Either way, I appreciate you going with me, so thank you,” he grinned, passing her a beer when she sat down at the counter.  
  
“You’re welcome,” she grinned. “But don’t forget you still owe me.”  
  
He laughed, “Yeah, alright.”  
  
“I…am taking a shower and going to bed, so don’t expect to see my face ‘til morning,” she grinned, putting her half drunk beer back in the fridge and padding towards the bathroom.  
  
“You need help with your dress?” he asked.  
  
She turned around and arched a brow at him.  
  
“I got in it by myself didn’t I?”  
  
He laughed and held up his hands, “Alright, just trying to help,” he grinned.  
  
The bathroom door clicked shut behind her and Jensen leaned against the counter, nursing his beer.  
  
Two minutes later and she came back out, walked right in front of him and pulled her hair out of the way.  
  
He chuckled, but found the small zipper pull and eased it down, sheer black fabric parting to reveal tan skin underneath, his hand hovering for a split second by the small of her back where the zipper ended.  
  
“Thanks,” she said quietly, turning her head to look at him over her shoulder but not actually meeting his eyes, hand cradled in front of her, holding the fabric over herself, before walking away.  
  
“No problem,” he mumbled after the bathroom door clicked shut again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is completely not a dress I would ever wear well, because I so _don't_ have the body for it but oh well
> 
> [](http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/montecarlogurl87/FicBanners/FTE/?action=view&current=jovani.jpg) [](http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/montecarlogurl87/FicBanners/FTE/?action=view&current=jovani1.jpg)  
>  (By 'Jovani,' I have no idea if that means anything to anyone, I just Googled until I found one I liked)


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey, was wondering if I’d hear from you tonight.”  
  
“Yeah, sorry, just got home, shooting went late. What time is it there?”  
  
“Two.”  
  
“Shit, sorry.”  
  
“Please, you know I’m up ‘till three or four most nights.”  
  
Jensen laughed, kicking off his shoes and collapsing on his bed.  
  
“Did you just die?”

“No, sorry,” he mumbled, rolling over onto his back so his face wasn’t smashed in the pillow.   
  
“Good, ‘cause you know that’s not allowed.”  
  
He grinned, “What are you doing?”  
  
“Just putting away some leftovers.”  
  
There was a grunted reply on the other end of the line.  
  
“Are you falling asleep on me?”  
  
“No…”  
  
“Uh huh,” she grinned. “Well before you pass out I got a favor to ask you,” she said quietly.  
  
“Shoot.”  
  
“I’m taking a couple weeks vacation off from work…”  
  
“Cool, you gonna come visit?”  
  
“That was sorta my plan, but well…there’s this little thing of over 4000 miles between us…”  
  
He laughed, “It’s alright, I can get you a plane ticket…you know, if you’re asking.”  
  
“I love you, you know that right?” she asked smirking.  
  
“I know, I know, love you too baby girl. Email me the dates and I’ll buy ‘em in the morning, cool?”  
  
“Yeah,” she smiled. “Thanks Jensen.”  
  
“Psht, don’t you dare thank me for something like that, it’s no big deal.”  
  
“It is to me,” she said quietly.  
  
He sighed, “I know.”  
  
“Go to sleep,” she grinned.  
  
There was another grunted reply on the other end of the line.  
  
“Night.”  
  
“Night,” he mumbled back.

* * *

 

“Well look who it is!” Jared grinned, dropping his script into his seat to walk over and give her a hug.  
  
“Hey big guy,” she grinned, feet leaving the ground in what was becoming a standard Padalecki hug.  
  
Unfortunately because Jensen had insisted on picking her up from the airport himself, they didn’t have any break time when they got back and he had to rush to get changed before starting his scene.  
  
“Alright,” he sighed, shrugging on his jacket, “I’ll be back,” he grinned before walking over to the cameras.  
  
“So how long you here for?”  
  
“Couple weeks.”  
  
“Sweet!”  
  
She laughed and sat down in Jensen’s chair to watch him film.  
  
“Damnit,” Jared hissed beside her a few minutes later.  
  
“What’s up?”  
  
“I can’t get these couple lines down,” he said pointing to the script he had in his hand.  
  
She leaned over his shoulder and then plopped back in her chair, snatching Jensen’s copy off the table beside them.  
  
“Here, I’ll read with you.”  
  
“Seriously?”  
  
“Sure, will it help?”  
  
“Yeah,” Jared grinned and turned to face her.  
  
He read off his first section and Tareena jumped right in on Dean’s lines, when she finished though Jared didn’t keep reading and she looked up to see him staring at her blankly.  
  
“Uh…’I don’t know why Dean…’” she prompted.  
  
“What?”  
  
“The next line?”  
  
“Right, right,” Jared mumbled, still staring at her.  
  
“Dude, what?”  
  
“Your just…you were  _Dean_. Just then…I mean…wow.”  
  
She rolled her eyes.  
  
“No! I’m serious…like, his mannerisms, and the way he talks and just, holy shit.”  
  
She arched her brow at him and grinned, turning to look at Jensen when he came back over and looked at Jared comically.  
  
“You’re face is gonna get stuck like that,” he grinned.  
  
“Read it for him!”  
  
“What? No!”  
  
“Read what?”  
  
“Dude! She’s you! Or, well…Dean.”  
  
Jensen’s eyebrow arched and he looked between Jared and Tareena.  
  
“Don’t look at me! I was just helping him run through the script.”  
  
“Come on!” Jared said, slapping he knee. “Read it!”  
  
“Dude! No!”  
  
Jensen stood there laughing between the two of them.  
  
“Can you do Sam?”  
  
“Oh my god,” she groaned.  
  
“You might as well do it or he’s not gonna shut up.”  
  
She shot a glare at Jensen, “It’s weird now, I got an audience.”  
  
Jensen rolled his eyes and grabbed her elbow, pulling her out of the seat so he could sit down, leaning back so she could sit back down on his knees.  
  
“Just read it,” he groaned when Jared still wouldn’t shut up.  
  
“Fine,” she growled, letting Jared read first again before slipping into Dean and going through his lines.  
  
Jensen had been rubbing his hand across his eyes and froze, fingers pressed across his forehead and stared at her.  
  
“That’s creepy.”  
  
“Oh my god,” she groaned, rolling her eyes.  
  
“Do Sam!” Jared grinned, leaning forward in his seat.  
  
With an aggravated sigh she went ahead and read through a couple of his lines as well, knowing she wasn’t going to be getting out of this.  
  
“That’s  _really_  creepy,” Jensen said, still staring at her.  
  
“Gimme a break, I’ve been watching, reading, hell,  _writing_ , these characters just as long as you guys have.”  
  
“True,” Jared said, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
“It’s still creepy,” Jensen grinned.

* * *

 

Jensen came out of his shower to find Tareena curled up in the corner of his couch, wearing the old worn grey pajama pants he had given her over a year ago and a stretched out t-shirt, with a coffee mug of chocolate milk in her hands.  
  
“Whatchya watching?” he asked, scrubbing a towel over his head before throwing it in the hamper.  
  
“Jerry Maguire.”  
  
Jensen laughed, sitting down next to her.  
  
“That movie was so cheesy.”  
  
“But cute.”  
  
He grinned and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him.  
  
“You okay?” he asked quietly.  
  
“Yeah,” she said back automatically, shifting to get comfortable beside him.  
  
She didn’t say anything else and Jensen watched her for a minute before turning back to the TV.

* * *

 

Tareena got up after the movie and went down the hallway without a word.  
  
Jensen stayed on the couch a grand total of two minutes before following her, leaning his shoulder against the doorjamb of the guest bedroom.  
  
She sat cross legged on the side of the bed, just sort of staring towards the closet.  
  
Jensen pushed himself off the doorway and walked silently over to the bed, sitting down next to her.  
  
“You okay?” he asked quietly.  
  
“Yeah,” she said back automatically.  
  
“Come on Tareena…”  
  
“It’s the anniversary,” she whispered.  
  
“Of what?” he asked, brow drawing down in confusion.  
  
“My Mom’s death,” she said quietly.  
  
“God…” he rumbled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into him, sighing when she let herself collapse into his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me baby girl?”  
  
“I just wanted to get away from it all, that’s why I took the vacation,” she whispered. “Thought if I ran across the country it wouldn’t be so bad.”  
  
Jensen shifted on the bed, leaning back against the headboard and pulling her back into his chest.  
  
“You should have told me babe,” he whispered, hand running down her back.  
  
“Didn’t want to deal with it,” she said quietly.  
  
He sighed, sharp rise of his chest rocking her body softly before he shifted again, pulling the sheets back and sliding down to lay down flat, pulling her snug against him.  
  
His breath hitched when he felt the wetness of her tears soak through his shirt.  
  
“Sshh baby girl,” he whispered, turning on his side to let her bury her face against his neck, arms wrapping around her. “I’m right here, not going anywhere,” he rumbled, resting his cheek against her hair.

* * *

 

Jensen cracked his eyes open, groaning at how dry they were and reached up, pulling at his eyelids and rolling his eyes, trying to get his contacts back in place.  
  
“You slept in your contacts didn’t you?” Tareena said, voice rough from sleep as she planted a hand on his chest and pushed herself up.  
  
“Yeah,” he groaned, still rubbing and messing with his eyes. “Kinda got into bed and then didn’t leave,” he said, small smile.  
  
“Thanks,” she said quietly. “For last night.”  
  
Jensen blinked a couple more times, contacts finally settling themselves and ran his hand down her arm.  
  
“No problem babe. You okay?”  
  
She nodded, hand falling from his chest when he sat up.  
  
He smirked, leaning forward to kiss the tip of her nose, resting his forehead against hers when she closed her eyes, heaved a broken sigh and curled her fingers in his shirt.  
  
“Right here,” he whispered, pulling her into a hug.  
  
“You want some coffee?” he asked quietly a few minutes later, looking down at her where she had her head resting against his shoulder.  
  
“God yes,” she sighed, smiling up at him.


	7. Chapter 7

“Tareena…”  
  
“Hey babe!”  
  
“Can you…god…”  
  
“Jensen?” she asked, freezing where she stood, fear slicing through her gut. “Jensen what’s wrong?”  
  
“Can you come to Vancouver?” he mumbled, voice soft and broken.  
  
“Are you okay? Dude, you’re scaring me.”  
  
“Just…please come.”

“Yeah, Jen…I, tell me you’re okay.”  
  
“I’m fine…sort of,” he mumbled and just the way his voice sounded had her already running to her bedroom to throw together a duffle bag.  
  
“Babe you’re freaking me out.”  
  
“It’s okay,” he said and she knew he was lying.   
  
“Jensen, you know I need you to get the tickets,” she said softly, not sure what was going on.  
  
“Yeah, I know, I’ll email you them, okay?”  
  
“Yeah, sure babe, just lemme know, I’ll be there.”  
  
“Thanks baby girl,” he said softly before the phone clicked and he was gone.  
  
She stared at the screen, blinking timestamp flashing in her face to tell her that the call had been disconnected and she hit the speed dial number for Jared.  
  
“He called you didn’t he?” Jared asked as soon as he picked up the phone.  
  
“What the hell is going on?” she rushed, wincing when her voice broke.  
  
“He didn’t tell you?”  
  
“No! He just…he asked me to come and  _god_ , his voice…Jared…”  
  
“Look, I wish I could tell you, but this is his deal, his business…”  
  
“I swear to god Jared if something happened and you’re not fucking telling me…”  
  
“He’s fine, it’s nothing like that. It’s not life threatening or anything.”  
  
“Promise me,” she whispered.  
  
“I promise. You know you’re the first person I’d call after his family if anything ever happened to him. It’s just…it’s some bullshit and look, I really would tell you but this is _his problem_  and I don’t wanna go stepping over any lines. But he’s okay, I swear, he just needs a friend right now. And I’m trying but well…I’m hardly somebody he can curl up on the couch with and cry.”  
  
“God, Jared,” she said softly, collapsing on the end of her bed, t-shirt she had just yanked off the hanger in hand.  
  
“He’s okay Tareena, he just needs us right now. If he didn’t call you I was going to. Do you know when your flight is yet?”  
  
“No, he said he was going to email me the tickets.”  
  
“Okay, call me when you get ‘em and lemme know. I’ll pick you up from the airport.”  
  
“’Kay,” she said softly.  
  
“He’s fine, I promise.”  
  
“Thanks Jared.”  
  
“No problem sweetie. Call me when you get the tickets.”  
  
“’Kay,” she mumbled. “Bye.”  
  
“Bye hun.”

* * *

 

“God,” she sighed, breaking into a run when she spotted Jared across the terminal.  
  
“Hey babe,” he said quietly, letting her launch herself into his arms.  
  
“Tell me he’s okay,” she whispered against his shoulder.  
  
“He’s fine, he’ll be even better now that you’re here,” he mumbled into her hair, pulling back to take her bag. “You need to go to bag claim?”  
  
“No, I just have the one, kinda freaked and packed quick,” she smirked.  
  
He smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and lead them back towards the garage.

* * *

 

“You gonna come in?” she asked as Jared put his truck in park outside Jensen’s apartment.  
  
“Naw, call me in the morning though okay?”  
  
“Sure,” she smiled, leaning over to hug him. “Thank you,” she whispered.  
  
“No need to thank me babe.”  
  
She smiled sadly, “I’ll call you” she said, stepping out and waving as he drove off.

* * *

 

“Jensen?” she asked, closing the door behind her.  
  
“Tareena?” he asked appearing from somewhere down the hall.  
  
He was a wreck. Three days worth of stubble, hair a mess. T-shirt so worn out there were small holes in the collar. He obviously had holed himself up in his apartment over the weekend.  
  
“Hey,” she said softly, dropping her bag as he came right for her and crushed her in a hug, burying his face in her shoulder.  
  
“Thank you,” he whispered, voice breaking.  
  
“Don’t you dare, but you better tell me what the hell’s going on,” she pulled back, cupping his face in her hands to stare at him, her eyes glazing over with tears.  
  
He forced a grin and reached up to take her hands in his, pulling her over towards the couch.  
  
“You want something to drink?” he asked, like he didn’t want to sit down and tell her.  
  
“Jensen,” she sighed, pushing at his chest until he collapsed onto the couch. She sat down on the edge of the coffee table across from him. “Tell me now or I swear to god I’m gonna kick your ass,” she smiled sadly.  
  
“She broke up with me,” he said quietly.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I went back to LA Friday night, thought I’d surprise her for the long weekend.”  
  
He was staring at his hands, fidgeting nervously and she reached forward, lacing her fingers in his.  
  
“I was headed to get a coffee and she…she was at this café with some guy. But you know, whatever,” he smiled sadly, “And I went up to surprise her, and she got this look on her face…and the guy, I swear the guy was going to shit himself…”  
  
He sighed, looking up at her for a split second before back down at the floor and she squeezed his hands softly to get him to continue.  
  
“She got all flustered and brushed off the guy, yanked me down the road and pulled me into a corner and told me that she couldn’t handle it anymore. Handle the long distance thing, that she needed more than that,” he laughed cynically. “Said she had been planning on calling me.”  
  
Tareena closed her eyes, shaking her head, before sighing and looking back up at him again.  
  
“I tried,” he said, voice breaking. “I tried so hard, I flew back whenever I got the chance, called her everyday, I thought…I thought we were okay,” he said quietly “And she just…she just ended it right there, on the side of the friggin’ road, turned around and walked back to the other guy and…and left.”  
  
He looked back up at her, eyes lit with tears and she broke down, pulling him forward, arms wrapping around him, cradling his head against her shoulder as he cried, fingers dug into her shirt.  
  
He pulled back, scrubbing a hand across his cheek when he heard her sniffle against him.  
  
“Oh come on,” he grinned, “Don’t you start crying.”  
  
“Shut up,” she smiled back, “I can barely stand to see you crying on the damn TV.”  
  
He laughed, resting his forehead against hers and sighed, knees pressed together, her fingers carding through the short hair at the back of his neck.  
  
“You eat today?” she asked quietly, causing him to open his eyes to look at her, her blue-grey irises shining like silver under the sheen of tears.  
  
“Not really,” he smirked. “Don’t really have anything here either.”  
  
“Will you be okay if I run to the store?” she asked, voice soft but worry threaded through her tone.  
  
He smiled slowly at her, eyes dancing between hers. “Yeah, I’ll be fine baby girl.”  
  
She grinned, hand coming up to cup his jaw when he kissed the tip of her nose.  
  
“Where’s your wallet?”  
  
“On my dresser,” he said, finally pulling himself back from the protective circle of her arms, letting her get up to go down the hall and retrieve it.  
  
“Thanks,” he said softly as she opened the door to leave.  
  
“You don’t need to thank me for a damn thing Jensen,” she smiled, keys to his truck jingling around her fingers. “I’ll be right back.”

* * *

 

She pulled out a two pack of thick cut beautifully marbled steak. Plastic wrap catching against the grocery bag as she placed it down next to the sink. Canister of seasoning shaking as she took it out of the bag and sat it down next to the meat.  
  
Jensen grinned, pulling out a box of macaroni and cheese, hard pasta rattling around inside and shot her a look.  
  
He grabbed the smaller bag on the counter, opaque white instead of the recycled tan of the grocery store bags and pulled out a handful of DVDs.  
  
“’The Longest Yard’?” he asked, holding up the first DVD, arching his brow at her as she cut open the plastic on the steak.  
  
“Hell yeah,” she grinned. “Good music, football, prison inmates, violence, all wrapped up with a nice little moral at the end of the story.”  
  
“And what would that be?” he grinned.  
  
Her mouth opened and she paused. “I don’t remember,” she laughed, “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it.”  
  
He laughed.  
  
“So, steaks and a football players in prison movie?”  
  
She looked up from where she was seasoning the steaks.  
  
“Well…” she paused, “I could go back and get a tub of Haagen-Dazs and ‘The Notebook’ if you want. But I figured, you know, since you have testicles and everything, that bloody meat and some violence was more appropriate.”  
  
He smirked, looking away for a minute.  
  
“Hell, even I don’t do chick flicks and ice cream,” she winked, smiling at him when he grinned back.  
  
“Thanks,” he said softly, stepping forward to kiss her forehead.  
  
She jabbed her elbow into his stomach playfully. “What did I tell you about thanking me?” she asked, the spark in her eyes silently telling him ‘you’re welcome.’  
  
“Alright,” he mumbled, slight smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.  
  
“Fire up the grill for me?” she asked.  
  
“Sure,” he grinned, pulling her into a one armed hug to kiss her temple before walking out to the patio.

* * *

 

Jensen groaned, stretched out of the couch with Tareena curled up next to him, empty plates smeared with grease and cheese pushed off to the side of the coffee table, a couple of half drunk beers long gone warm sitting next to them.  
  
Her hand idly swept back and forth across his chest and his eyes closed, muscles relaxing.  
  
“Can I kill her?” she asked softly, glancing up to see him open his eyes to look at her.  
  
“No,” he laughed softly.  
  
“Please?”  
  
He rolled his eyes, “I might be loaded but I don’t have enough to get you out of a murder rap.”  
  
“Damnit,” she said, grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.  
  
He chuckled, vibration in his chest rumbling straight into her.  
  
“You know I would if you asked me?” she said, looking back up at him.  
  
“Don’t doubt it,” he grinned, squeezing her shoulder, cheek resting against her hair.  
  
“I just…” he started to say, mouth closing as he heaved a sigh. “I’m just sick of being alone,” he said softly. “I can count the number of serious relationships I’ve had on one hand.”  
  
Tareena planted her hand on his chest and pushed herself up to look at him.  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
“What?” he asked, pushing himself up with his elbows.  
  
“I don’t wanna hear that crap from you. If there’s anybody on this godforsaken planet that’s gonna end up with somebody it’s you.”  
  
He rolled his eyes, throwing one arm behind his head.  
  
“Then why am I still alone?” he asked. “I thought...” he sighed again. “I thought she might have been it, ya know?” he said quietly.  
  
“She’s a bitch,” she said, holding her hand up when Jensen’s eyes shot to her, ready to say something back. “But you loved her…and if she was stupid enough to walk away from  _that_ , then she doesn’t deserve you.  
  
“But I’m not gonna sit here and tell you to get over it ‘cause she’s not worth it. Bottom line is you loved her, maybe still do and I’m not about to belittle that,” she said, watching as he swallowed hard.  
  
“All my crazy fangirlness aside,” she said, grinning when he smirked at her, “You’re one of the greatest guys I know,” she said softly. “And the only reason I say ‘one of’ is ‘cause my Dad’s pretty high up there too,” she smiled sadly.  
  
Jensen’s lips tightened to a line and he swallowed again at the honestly in her eyes.  
  
“Trust me, you’ll find somebody,” she said softly.  
  
He forced a smirk, staring at their hands as he threaded his fingers back with hers.  
  
“Thanks babe.”  
  
“No problem,” she grinned.  
  
His hand automatically tightened around hers when he felt her shift to get up.  
  
“The movie’s over,” she grinned, laughing at him when he grunted and let her go.  
  
She rolled off the couch, landing on her knees on the carpet before getting up to switch DVDs, popping in ‘The Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ and taking their plates to the sink, running water over them before coming back to the couch.  
  
Jensen had turned on his side, back against the back of the couch, cushions scrunched under his head.  
  
She smirked at him, dropping her knee into the cushion and lying down beside him, back pressed against his chest, fingers linking with his when he draped his arm over her chest.  
  
She felt him bury his nose against her neck about an hour later and squeezed his hand.  
  
“Why don’t you head to bed babe?” she asked softly, grabbing the remote and turning down the volume on the TV.  
  
“Will you stay?” he said quietly, causing her to turn to look at him.  
  
“I just…I kinda don’t wanna be alone,” he mumbled.  
  
“Well I didn’t get a hotel room, so yeah, I was kinda planning on staying,” she said, voice soft as she grinned at him.  
  
He smirked but tightened his arm around her waist.  
  
“I meant  _stay_ ,” he whispered, meeting her eyes again.  
  
She stared at him a moment, the light from the TV dancing across his face, throwing shadows and soft blue light over the room.  
  
“Sure,” she whispered, fingers squeezing in his.  
  
He smiled softly, shifting against her so his head rested in the crook of her neck and her stomach seized, heart thudding painfully in her chest, wishing against anything that she could just see that bitch that did this to him right now just to throw a fist in her face.   
  
Her hand came up, fingers dancing through his hair and he sighed against her.  
  
She smiled, reaching up to slip his glasses off, smirking at him when he opened his eyes to smile at her.


	8. Chapter 8

Jensen cracked his eyes open, squinting at the news on TV before reaching out to grab his glasses off the coffee table.  
  
“Hey,” he smiled, voice gravel rough from sleep as he padded over to the kitchen, scratching his stomach.  
  
“Mornin,’” Tareena smiled, flipping the grilled cheese she was making.  
  
“Oh please god tell me that’s your famous grilled cheese and bacon,” he groaned, coming up behind her and looping his arms around her neck, resting his chin on the top of her head.  
  
“I don’t know about famous, but it is grilled cheese and bacon,” she grinned.  
  
“Awesome,” he moaned.  
  
She laughed, shoving an elbow into his stomach.

“Wanna make some eggs?” she asked, buttering up some more bread for the next sandwich.  
  
“Sure,” he grinned, walking over to the fridge.

* * *

 

“Look, I wanna apologize…” he started, fork idly dragging through the goopy yolk of his egg. “I mean, I shouldn’t have called you like that, asked you to come with no heads up.”  
  
“Oh my god shut up,” she smirked, when he looked at her wide eyed.  
  
“A., you know I don’t care, I’m glad you called me. I would have kicked your ass  _and_ Jared’s, if you hadn’t have told me. And B., don’t you  _dare_  apologize for that or I may kick your ass anyways.”  
  
He smirked, looking back down at his plate where the tines of his fork were dragging four little perfect lines of yellow across the china.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“No problem,” she grinned.  
  
“So…umm,” he sighed, still messing with his egg. “How long can you stay?”  
  
She swallowed the mouthful of milk she had and set her glass back down.  
  
“As long as you need me to.”  
  
“Well…I mean, don’t you have to go back to work?” he asked, looking up in confusion.  
  
“Nope,” she said, cutting into the white of her own egg with the side of her fork.  
  
“Nope?” he asked, eyebrows shooting high. “Mind explaining?”  
  
“I quit,” she said, spearing the milky white piece with her fork and shoving it in her mouth, looking up at him as if she had said that that sun was out.  
  
His fork dropped, clinking against his plate.  
  
“Excuse me?” he squawked, voice breaking.  
  
“I quit,” she shrugged.  
  
“Tareena…I didn’t, god I didn’t want you…”  
  
“Stop,” she said, holding up her hand. “Just stop. I had been planning on quitting anyways. They had my notice, I was just waiting until I found somewhere else. And when you called…” she sighed, “You scared the crap out of me Jensen,” she said softly.  
  
He dropped his gaze back to his plate and swallowed hard.  
  
“So I called ‘em up, told ‘em I had an emergency and I quit. I’m here for as long as you need me to be…and don’t you dare start brooding about it,” she said, pointing her fork at him.  
  
“I can’t believe you’d do that…I mean, god,” he whispered.  
  
She looked back up at him and held his eyes. “I’d die for you Jensen, in a goddamned heartbeat and you know it, quitting my job was a cakewalk.”  
  
He swallowed hard, knowing she meant it but smirked at her. “Thanks.”  
  
“You thank me one more time and I’m gonna…”  
  
“I know, I know, kick my ass,” he grinned.  
  
She smiled.

* * *

 

They had Monday off, some Canadian holiday. Someone did stop by though, dropping off the script for that week.  
  
Tareena had been in the shower when it showed up and came out, pair of jeans and a t-shirt whose back was being soaked by her wet hair, to see Jensen sitting on the couch flipping through the stapled pages.  
  
“What’s that?” she asked, running a towel over her hair.  
  
“This week’s script.”  
  
She nodded, walked back to the small utility room and threw her towel into the hamper. Grabbing a couple beers from the fridge before curling up in the corner of the couch, shoving her toes under Jensen’s thigh.  
  
She was idly flipping through the menu on the TV, volume down low when Jensen hissed beside her.  
  
“Shit.”  
  
“What?” she asked, sitting up when he tossed the paper onto the coffee table in disgust and hung his head in his hands.  
  
“Jen…”  
  
He waved his hand towards the mess of papers and she slid over to the coffee table, sitting on the wood to reach over and grab where the script pages had landed.  
  
She watched him out of the corner of her eye, his head still hung, before straightening out the jumbled papers and flipping through, scanning the words to try to find what had set Jensen off.  
  
She sighed when she found it. A scene that was guaranteed to be hard. Not the kind where he got slammed into a wall. But the kind that made him sit in a corner by himself to get ready for.   
  
The kind that made him sit in a corner by himself to recover from.  
  
Which was something he definitely could have done without seeing as he was still upset over the break up. He had been pretty good at covering it with false smiles and jokes but she could still tell. He still let her see, when it got tough for him. The fact that he had come out and asked her if she would sleep in his room with him instead of the guest bedroom being more than enough proof.  
  
When he did that she was  _really_  tempted to call up the airport and book the red-eye to LA so she could kick that bitch’s ass, whether Jensen wanted her to or not.  
  
“You want me to talk to Kim?” she asked quietly, flipping the pages closed and setting it off to the side.  
  
Jensen looked up, eyes fixed on the papers.  
  
“No, we gotta film it.”  
  
“If you don’t want to they can shove it Jensen…”  
  
“No, no,” he said, reaching out to rub his hand across her knee and smirked at her. “Thanks, but, no, I’ll…I’ll deal.”  
  
“Jen…”  
  
“It’s okay,” he mumbled, and she knew that was the end of the conversation. This was his job, a job he was very lucky to have. Very few in Hollywood ever got to be a part of something as special as ‘Supernatural’ and he wasn’t about to let his personal problems get in the middle of that.  
  
“You want me to be there?” she said quietly, placing her hand over his where it was still on her knee.  
  
He nodded, staring at their hands.  
  
She sighed and pulled him forward, arms wrapping around his shoulders when he buried his face in her neck, fingers curling into the back of her t-shirt, still wet from her hair.

* * *

 

The scene did take a lot out of him. Tareena had actually pulled Kim aside and asked him to cut it down as much as he could. Knowing Jensen, not wanting to air his personal problems, was going to try to suck it up and deal.  
  
Kim was more than happy to help of course, adjusting his camera shots a little so that he could have two or three running at a time and get it done quicker.  
  
Even with that Jensen still stalked off as soon as Kim yelled ‘check the gate.’  
  
Tareena had been standing off to the side and Jared came over to her when the shot was over, wondering if he should go over or give Jensen his space.  
  
Jensen stopped towards the edge of set, off on the side where no one was bustling around and looked up long enough to meet Tareena’s eyes before looking away again.  
  
She sighed and went walking over to him, not saying a word when he turned into her, crushing her against him.  
  
Jared gave them a couple minutes, slowly making his way over to them. Jensen huffed out a laugh, letting Jared pull him into a hug when he looked at him with wide worried eyes.  
  
“I’m okay,” he said, pulling in a deep breath, “I’ll be okay…thanks guys,” he smiled, Tareena’s fingers threaded in his and Jared’s hand warm on his back.

* * *

 

Wednesday morning Jensen got himself a plate at lunch and sat down at the picnic bench under the tents at craft services across from Jared.  
  
He laughed and shook his head at Jared who had  _two_  plates in front of him.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Nothing,” he laughed, stabbing his fork into the baked potato on his plate.  
  
He looked over to the side. Tareena was over towards the trailers, sitting on the tailgate of a pickup, legs dangling over the end and talking on the phone, checking in back home.  
  
Jared laughed, shaking his head at Jensen.  
  
“What?” he asked, head snapping back around to stare at Jared.  
  
“Nothing,” he grinned. “Just you.”  
  
“What about me?”  
  
“You and her,” Jared grinned, waving his fork over at Tareena.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Are you serious?”  
  
“Dude,  _what?”_  
  
“Can’t you see?”  
  
“Jared, if you don’t friggin’ tell me whatever it is you…”  
  
“I just don’t know why you don’t get it over with and ask her out.”  
  
“ _What?!_ ” he squawked, voice breaking. “Dude! She’s my friend!”  
  
“Uh huh,” Jared grinned, shoving a piece of chicken into his mouth.  
  
“Me and you are friends Jensen, you and her…are more than that.”  
  
“Riiight,” Jensen drawled, shooting Jared a look before spearing his fork into his potato again.  
  
“Dude, seriously. When everything crashed down, who did you call? Her.”  
  
“I called you first,” Jensen shot back.   
  
Jared nodded and smiled. “Yeah, but you needed her. And she turned around, dropped everything and flew 4000 miles to be with you.  
  
“You know damn well how she feels about you.”  
  
“She’s never hidden that,” Jensen mumbled. That was one of the many reasons they had become as good of friends as they had, she had never hidden how much he meant to her. Never tried to pretend it was anything other than what it was.  
  
Jared nodded, still packing away his food. “My point exactly. You  _know_  how she feels. I just can’t believe you keep lying to yourself about how you feel.”  
  
“Dude, you’re cracked. She’s my  _friend.”_  
  
“Uh huh and friends call each other  _everyday.”_  
  
“I talk to you every day!” Jensen shot back, food long forgotten.  
  
“You  _work_  with me everyday, it’s kinda mandatory. Jensen, you talked to her more than you ever talked to your  _girlfriend,”_  he said quietly, trying to get his point across but not wanting to pour salt into the still fresh break up wound. “You call her ‘baby girl’ for Christ’s sake,” he laughed.  
  
“I mean hell man, you  _sleep_  with her.”  
  
“I don’t…I mean, it’s not like I’ve… _slept_  with her!” Jensen hissed. “And ‘baby girl’s a nickname!”  
  
Jared shook his head and laughed, taking a sip of his soda when he started to choke on his food.  
  
“Dude that’s not what I meant,” he grinned. “But seriously, you guys sleep in the same bed, I mean come on.”  
  
“I’ve slept in the same bed with you!” Jensen shot back, trying to stop his stomach from the free fall it was deciding to put itself in.  
  
“Yeah,” Jared laughed, “But I never woke up in your arms dude,” he grinned.  
  
Jensen couldn’t tell whether his face had gone pale or flushed red, but judging by the way his body was burning up from the inside out he would bet on the latter.  
  
“Look, I’m not trying to rib on you man. My point is, you guys have more than you let on. She knows it, she’s always known it and I don’t understand why you keep lying to yourself about it.”  
  
Jensen’s mouth worked, trying to come up with something to say.  
  
“Just…just think about it man. I mean, you gotta be careful. You guys  _are_  friends and add in the fact of the way she feels about you and that this is not something you wanna fuck up. I know you Jensen, I know you don’t wanna fuck this up, I know how much she means to you whether you want to admit it yourself of not. Just…just think about it,” he said, picking up his empty plates and walking off.  
  
Jensen sat there, staring into space for a minute before he snapped his jaw shut.  
  
He turned to look over at Tareena, his stomach dropping and his throat going tight when she laughed at whoever was on the phone.  
  
He snapped his head back around to stare at the food on his plate, pushing it away when he suddenly lost his appetite.


	9. Chapter 9

“Rise and shine sleeping beauty!” Tareena grinned, throwing Jensen’s duffle bag onto his stomach.  
  
He groaned, cracking his eyes open.  
  
“Fuck…the, what?”  
  
“Pack up!” she said, walking down the hall.  
  
“Pack… _what_?”  
  
She was grinning ear to ear when she came back and held out a cup of coffee for him.  
  
He squinted at her, taking the mug with a mumbled thanks before slipping on his glasses.  
 _  
_“Christ,” he groaned, “It’s six a.m.!”

“Yup,” she grinned, shoving a pair of jeans into her own duffle bag and zipping it up. “Now hurry up and pack, we gotta hit the road in thirty minutes.”  
  
“Thirty…wha…it’s  _Saturday!”_  
  
“I know,” she grinned, walking over and taking his mug from him, taking a sip before he panicked, thinking she was going to take the blessed caffeine away from him before he got to ingest any of it.  
  
He grunted, hand coming up to scrub through his hair when she handed the steaming cup back.  
  
“Just trust me babe,” she grinned, heading back down the hallway. “And hurry up!”

Jensen was still grumbling, nursing his coffee as he climbed into  _his_  truck twenty minutes later, squinting behind his sunglasses as she climbed in and started the engine.  
  
“Mind explaining what we’re doing?” he growled.  
  
“Nope,” she grinned.   
  
“You’re lucky I love you,” he mumbled, leaning his head back against the headrest, hands curled around the warm coffee mug.  
  
She laughed and pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

 

Jensen groaned, hand coming up to rub at the crick in his neck from where he had leaned awkwardly against the side window when he fell back asleep.  
  
He jerked, hand falling to his lap, belatedly remembering he had had a cup full of coffee in his hand before he dozed off.  
  
Tareena chuckled beside him, pointing to where the now empty ceramic mug sat lopsidedly in the truck’s cup holder.  
  
“Shut up,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes and looking out the window at the acres of trees and fields that stretched out in all directions around the car.  
  
“Where are we?”  
  
“The country.”  
  
“Thanks,” he quipped, shooting her a look.  
  
She grinned, turning the truck off the two lane blacktop onto a dirt road.  
  
“You do have good timing though,” she smiled, “We’re almost there.”  
  
He grunted, still staring out the window trying to figure out where they were. His brow furrowed when she drove through an open set of iron gates, he tried to read the sign but he couldn’t because the angle.  
  
He sat up straight as she pulled the truck up to a barn, an older gentleman waving at them as she parked and got out.  
  
Jensen shot a look around as he stepped out. A log cabin that must have doubled as a house and office sat slightly up the hill, nestled in the evergreens. The barn they parked off to the side of matched the house, solid wood construction blending it into the landscape. He could hear the horses snuffling inside, occasional nicker breaking the soft silence.  
  
“You must be Tareena,” the man grinned, extending his hand when she walked up to him.  
  
“I am,” she smiled, “Nice to meet you Mr. Miranda.”  
  
“Marlo, please,” he grinned. “And you must be Jensen,” he smiled, reaching out to shake his hand as well.  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen mumbled, looking over at Tareena and wondering what the hell she had planned.  
  
“I already got ‘em all tacked up, they’re ready to ride as soon as you are. If you want to get you’re bags I’ll go ahead and throw ‘em on Glide along with the food I packed up for you guys.”  
  
“Thanks,” she grinned, heading back to the truck to get their duffels.  
  
“You’ll be on Sailor,” Marlo said, leading Jensen into the barn and over to where the slick black gelding was cross-tied, bridle handing on the hook next to him. “He’s the best horse I have.”  
  
Jensen grinned and nodded, turning when he heard Tareena come up behind him, handing their bags to Marlo.  
  
“And you will be on Miska,” he smiled, showing off the big red-bay gelding that stood in the cross aisle, broken white star and snip on his face.  
  
“God he’s gorgeous,” she whispered, holding out her hand for the horse to sniff, laughing when he playfully mouthed at her fingers.  
  
“He’s huge,” Jensen grinned, coming up behind them.  
  
“He’s part Friesian,” Marlo grinned, clapping the horse on the neck as he ducked his head to rub against Tareena.  
  
She laughed, reaching up to scratch his ear, smiling when he tilted his head into the touch.  
  
“Tareena told me you both have experience, you’re welcome to put their bridles on and mount up while I finish packing up Glide for you,” he smiled, heading off deeper into the barn.  
  
“You mind explaining what we’re doing yet?” Jensen grinned, coming up beside where Tareena was still scratching Miska.  
  
“Nope,” she grinned, walking around him to grab the black leather bridle.  
  
“Is that an English saddle?” Jensen asked, walking over to look at the saddle on the gelding. “There’s nothing there, it’s like half the size of a western,” he said, looking back over to where Sailor stood, tan tooled western saddle on top of his back.  
  
“Pretty much,” she grinned, slipping the jointed snaffle into Miska’s mouth when he dropped his head for her. “But that’s what I learned in. Asked Marlo if he had one when I called.”  
  
Jensen watched her for a second. He had known that she knew how to ride, she had told him she had worked on a small horse farm for a half dozen years. But he had never seen her around any horses and he smiled at how at ease she was. Constantly aware of the horse, even when her back was turned, moving around the large animal with no fear, even standing behind him to run a brush over his coat before, slipping on gloves and dragging over a step stool, stepping into the metal stirrup and vaulting herself into the saddle, settling down softly.  
  
“Get mounted up, I’m gonna go ride in the arena for a minute, let him get used to me,” she said, nudging Miska with the heel of her boot, the gelding immediately pushing off, loud clop of hooves over the brick aisle way as she walked him outside.  
  
Jensen did, smiling to himself when Sailor dropped his head, opening his mouth for the bit. He patted him on the neck, putting his boot in the stirrup and hauling himself on top of the horse, patting him again when he stood perfectly still as Jensen got situated. Marlo wasn’t kidding when he said he was the best horse he had.  
  
He had one hand resting on the horn of the saddle, reins held loosely in his grip, the other on his thigh as he rocked back and forth on the saddle, heading over to where Tareena was riding.  
  
He halted Sailor outside the arena, watching as Tareena stretched forward, slipping her fingers over the browband of the bridle before leaning back, hand brushing over the top of Miska’s tail before sitting up.  
  
Her back was straight as a board, hands soft around the reins, heels pulled down, calves tight.  
  
He had never ridden English before. Sure he had seen the Olympics once or twice. Black top hats and white pressed pants. He couldn’t help but be impressed as he watched her.  
  
He saw her fingers roll and Miska’s head ducked, nose perpendicular to the ground, neck in a graceful arch and he could see the horse contract, collect himself under her and picked up a trot. Flowing back forth motion that made him look like he was just barely grazing the ground, Tareena letting the natural push of his hindquarters lift her from her seat in time with his hoof beats.  
  
He watched as she sat down, barest movement of her leg and he picked up a perfect canter, soft rock as she circled the ring, body following the movement in the saddle.  
  
Made the western riding he was familiar with look barbaric.  
  
The whole thing was graceful. Movements, commands to the horse that he couldn’t even see most of the time, the red gelding answering immediately to whatever she asked, beautiful bow to his neck, rippling of his muscles, legs thrown out long when she brought him back to a trot and asked for an extension.  
  
She circled sharp, bringing him down the center of the area and stopped dead in the center, Miska’s hooves falling in a perfect square, head still bent, soft white foam on his lips as he mouthed the bit.  
  
“Damn,” he whispered, leading Sailor out into the ring with her.  
  
She turned, finally noticing him and laughed. “Sorry, been a long time since I rode, let alone with a trained horse,” she smiled, leaning over to pat the horse’s neck, loosening the reins, the gelding stretching out his neck and relaxing underneath her.  
  
“That was amazing, I could never do that,” he said, waving toward the saddle. “I think I’d fall out of that thing, there’s nothing to hold onto,” he grinned.  
  
“That’s the point,” she smiled, turning Miska back towards the barn where Marlo was leading Glide out, the chocolate bay that was their pack horse, their duffels secured over his haunches and some saddle bags on his sides, no doubt with the snacks and water Marlo had packed for them.  
  
“You guys are all set,” he grinned, handing over the lead rope to Tareena. “I packed an extra bridle for this guy,” he said patting Glide on the neck. “I drove out there last night so there’s grain and hay and food for you guys already there.”  
  
“Thanks Marlo,” she smiled, clucking to Miska and headed for the tree line.  
  
Jensen was tempted to ask the man what he meant, but he had already waved and was halfway back to the barn. He nudged Sailor with his heel and followed Tareena into the woods.

* * *

 

An hour later and they still hadn’t arrived at wherever they were heading.  
  
Tareena halted on the edge of a hill, miles of Canadian wilderness spread out below them and reached into one of Glide’s saddle bags, taking a long pull on a bottle of water before offering it to Jensen.  
  
He drained half the liquid before handing it back.  
  
“I’d ask what’s going on, but I have a feeling you still won’t tell me.”  
  
“You’re right,” she grinned.  
  
He shook his head and laughed, easing Sailor after her when she turned and continued walking.  
  
There was a clearing further along and she turned to grin at him over her shoulder before knocking her heels into Miska’s side and took off at a gallop.  
  
“Oh hell no,” he grinned, laughing out loud as he pushed Sailor into a run after her.  
  
They let the horses rest after their run, joking and laughing as they passed the bottle of water between them and Tareena leaned back, arms crossed behind her head and stretched her back out over the cantle of the saddle and over Miska’s haunches.  
  
Jensen laughed at her. “Doesn’t that hurt?” he grinned, eyeing the way her back was bowed over the swell of the back of the saddle, legs still straight down on the sides of the horse.  
  
“Are you kidding me? It feels awesome, been a long time since I’ve been riding. Feels good to work all these muscles,” she grinned, body rocking with the up down movement of the gelding’s hips.  
  
He nodded, slipping his toes out of the stirrups to let his legs dangle as the horses continued walking. There was a pleasant ache and slow burn in his legs and arms. Working and stretching muscles during their ride that he normally didn’t use. He might be sore later, but it was the good kind of sore. The kind that made you want to just lie in bed and relax, instead of groaning in pain and popping aspirin.  
  
Another half hour later and Tareena turned them up a dirt path, small log cabin nestled next to a lake. Lean-to barn and rough wood fence off to the side. Soft golden glow of lights already burning in the house.  
  
He shot her a look, smiling when she grinned at him and swung her leg over, sliding down off the saddle.  
  
“Come on,” she grinned, “Help me get these guys set up for tonight, I’m starving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The three horses are all based off REAL horses, three of my boys that I used to work with
> 
> Sailor...who is who I learned to ride on is a black Thoroughbred/Trakehner mix and is an absolute gentleman and sweetheart  
> [](http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/montecarlogurl87/FicBanners/FTE/?action=view&current=sailor1.jpg)
> 
> Glide is a bay Thoroughbred, this picture is from when he was about a year old  
> [](http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/montecarlogurl87/FicBanners/FTE/?action=view&current=glide.jpg)
> 
> and Mikey (Miska) who is my boy, out of all the horses I helped raise/train he is my favorite, he is a bay Thoroughbred/Friesian cross...this was taken sometime when he was 1-2 yrs old  
> [](http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/montecarlogurl87/FicBanners/FTE/?action=view&current=miska1.jpg)
> 
> now for anyone who doesn't know about riding...
> 
> this is an english (more specifically a dressage) saddle:  
> [](http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/montecarlogurl87/FicBanners/FTE/?action=view&current=Dressage20Saddle.jpg)
> 
> this, is a western saddle:  
> [](http://s16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/montecarlogurl87/FicBanners/FTE/?action=view&current=Western_Saddle.jpg)
> 
> as you can see very different. I have NOTHING against western riding, I would LOVE to learn how someday and in no way do I mean to belittle the training or effort it takes to ride western, but I personally learned how to ride Dressage, that is what I was taught, and I've been told by more than one person that if you can ride dressage, you can ride anything.


	10. Chapter 10

Marlo wasn’t kidding when he said he had taken food up there for them the night before. There was chicken and steaks and pork chops and pasta and rice and all kinds of snacks packed into the cupboards and refrigerator.  
  
Tareena grilled some chicken, smiling to herself when Jensen brought them both a beer and looked out over the clear lake as the sun set, painting it purple and orange.  
  
“So…you gonna explain all this to me yet?”  
  
She shrugged, taking a sip of her beer before setting it to the side.  
  
“Figured we could use a weekend off,” she said, flipping the chicken as it started to brown.  
  
“You mean  _I_ could use a weekend off,” he said, turning to lean against the railing that wrapped around the wood deck.

“Maybe,” she grinned, closing the lid on the grill.  
  
“Thanks,” he whispered, setting his beer on the small patio table and pulled her into a hug. “It’s just what I needed baby girl.”  
  
She sighed against him, both content to just stand there and stare out over the horses and wilderness until the chicken was done cooking.

* * *

 

They ate outside, scrambling to pick up their plates and drinks when thunder rumbled overhead and let loose a steady soothing rain.  
  
Tareena laughed, throwing Jensen a towel she had grabbed from the bathroom and leaned back against him when he wrapped his arms around her waist, staring out the sliding glass door at the way the lake danced with the rain.  
  
“Why don’t you go fire up the fireplace,” she said quietly, extracting herself from his arms and taking the towels back down the hall.  
  
Jensen wanted to yank her back against him, warm press of bodies and cool crisp scent of rain but froze as soon as he realized his own thought. Mumbling an ‘okay’ as she walked away, his stomach flipping, remembering Jared’s words a couple days earlier.  
  
He had just sat back on his heels, arranging the firewood with the iron poker to make sure the flames were going to hold when she threw a blanket at him. The heavy material smacking him in the shoulders and half over his head.  
  
“Son of a…” he laughed, batting at the soft material to see her grinning at him, bag of marshmallows, box of graham crackers and couple bars of chocolate in her hands.  
  
“Are you kidding me?”  
  
“No!” she grinned, kicking at the blanket until he rolled his eyes and laid it out flat in front of the fireplace. “What kind of weekend in the mountains would it be without smores,” she winked, sitting down next to him and handing over the box of crackers as she ripped open the marshmallows, laughing at him as she crammed one in his mouth when he leaned over.

* * *

 

“Oh my god, you are a freak,” she smiled, hand over her mouth as she laughed.  
  
Jensen was struggling to get the hot sticky mess of a smore he had made, double marshmallows, into his mouth. White goo smeared across half his face as he tried not to laugh while he swallowed.  
  
Jensen grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, sucking the white sugary glue from his fingers and collapsed next to her, pulling on her arm until she laid down next to him.  
  
“Thanks…for all this,” he whispered, shoulder bumping against hers, hand draped over her stomach.  
  
“No problem babe,” she grinned, shifting so the heat of the fire was at her back, soothing drum of rain still falling across the roof.  
  
“Seriously though,” he said softly, turning his head to look at her. “You just…it’s like you knew what I needed…even when I didn’t.”  
  
She smiled softly, looking away from his eyes, fingers playing with a stray thread on his shirt and his throat closed up.  
  
God help him, but Jared was right.  
  
He rolled, pushing himself up onto his elbow so he could face her and raised an unsteady hand to push a stray stand of hair behind her ear.  
  
She met his eyes then, jade green burned gold in the firelight.  
  
He leaned forward slowly, kissing the tip of her nose softly.  
  
“Baby girl…” he whispered, swallowing audibly in the silence that surrounded them.  
  
“Jen…”  
  
“Just…I,” he sighed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.  
  
“For what?” she asked, brow scrunching in confusion.  
  
“For not seeing what was right in front of me,” he said, hand trailing down her arm.  
  
“Jensen…”  
  
“I was so busy looking for a girlfriend that could be my best friend, that I didn’t notice the best friend that I already had.  
  
“I mean, look at us,” he laughed softly. “We talk everyday, share secrets nobody else knows…I mean…you can’t tell me it doesn’t feel right, curling up on the couch to watch a movie, or sleeping in on the weekend,” he whispered.  
  
“It always has,” she said quietly, “You know how I feel about you Jensen…” she choked, voice twisted in her throat.  
  
“I know,” he whispered, “You’ve never hidden that…I’m just pissed at myself at how I could be so blind.”  
  
She laughed nervously, her breathing ragged and broken as she looked away from him, eyes locking onto his chest.  
  
“You’re my best friend,” he said quietly, hand coming up to graze across her cheek. “I can’t begin to imagine not having you in my life,” he said, voice hoarse with emotion when she looked back at him. “Give me one good reason why…why this wouldn’t work.”  
  
“Because we’re friends,” she said quietly. “Because of how much I love you. God Jensen…it…it scares me sometimes. How much you mean to me. I mean, hell, you were a guy on my TV screen for Christ’s sakes,” she laughed, “and even then…god, it was so much more,” she whispered. “I’m not gonna lie, you know damn well I want to, but this…I can’t risk  _this_ , I can’t risk  _us_.”  
  
He shook his head, “Nothing,  _nothing_ , is gonna ever come between what we have…”  
  
“Jen…I don’t want to be a rebound,” she whispered, eyes glazing over with tears that she blinked back. “You have no idea how much I want this, but I can’t,” she said, voice breaking.  
  
He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers.   
  
“God Tareena…I would never do that to you, don’t you dare for one  _second_  think that. I mean… _look at us_ ,” he whispered, kissing the tip of her nose softly. “We have  _everything_ a relationship could possibly have besides…well,  _that_ ,” he laughed awkwardly, hand tightening around hers when she sighed brokenly, eyes closed.  
  
“Promise me…” she whispered, opening her eyes to stare at him. “Promise me that if we…if we do this,” she said, heaving in a breath, “and it doesn’t work…”  
  
“It can’t  _not_  work…”  
  
“If it  _doesn’t_ ,” she cut him off, “promise me I’m not going to lose you,” she finished quietly. “God Jensen, I can’t…I won’t.”  
  
“I promise,” he rumbled, bringing his hand back up to cup her cheek again. “Because if we don’t work…which we will,” he grinned. “It’s going to be because it just…doesn’t work,” he shrugged, mouth pulled up into a grin. “Because I know you. You’re one of the few people I know…” he whispered, swallowing against the sudden lump in his throat. “You’re one of the few people I feel safe with. I  _know_  you would never hurt me.”  
  
He laughed softly, thumb sweeping across the bead of a tear that slipped from her eye.  
  
“So if, by some slight as hell chance, it didn’t work, we’d still be friends.  _That_ , I promise you, because I’m not willing to loose you either.”  
  
“God,” she whispered.  
  
He grinned, his own eyes welling with moisture.  
  
“Tell me no,” he said quietly, “tell me you don’t want this and I’ll never bring it up again…”  
  
She shook her head slowly, staring into his eyes. “I can’t…” she whispered, voice broken as the corner of her mouth twitched into a grin.  
  
Jensen smiled, breathing ragged as he huffed out a laugh, letting his eyes fall to her parted lips before crashing back to her silver blue eyes.  
  
He felt her shudder under the palm of his hand and leaned in, kissing the tip of her nose like he had done so many times before.  
  
“I got you baby girl,” he whispered, ghosting his lips across hers, shiver running under his skin at the way she trembled against him.  
  
He watched her, eyes shut, breathing ragged and slipped his fingers into her hair, pulling her back into the kiss, soft press of lips.  
  
He moaned softly against her when her fingers grabbed blindly onto his shirt, the cotton curling around her fingers.  
  
“God,” he whispered, breath sweeping across her lips.  
  
He kissed her again, still soft and slow but his intention clear and his heart seized, stomach plummeted when she opened with a sigh, letting him in.  
  
They were both breathing hard when they broke and he watched her when she blinked repeatedly, trying to clear the fog from her head.  
  
He watched her, forehead still pressed against hers and let his hand run down her side, fingers slipping under the hem of her shirt, pressing into fire warmed skin, stroking soothingly when she shivered under the touch.  
  
“Jensen,” she whispered, hand trembling as she shyly ran her hand up his chest.  
  
He grinned stupidly. They had been best friends for a couple years now, shared everything under the sun, hell, they had shared a bed the past week and she was still nervous about touching him like this.  
  
He sat up slowly and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it blindly onto the couch behind them slowly and laid back down beside her, finger crooking under her chin to bring her eyes back to his when she looked away.  
  
“It’s okay,” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss her again, breath hitching when her hand trembled and came to rest against his stomach.  
  
He sighed into the kiss, his own fingers slipping into the small of her back, heart picking up its pace when she boldly slid her hand up his chest, palm sweat slick and burning hot as it slid over his nipple.  
  
He shifted, turning them just barely until her back was flat against the blanket under them, his arm over her stomach and took a minute to watch her.  
  
She laughed nervously, breaking their gaze to watch the way her fingers drew invisible symbols over his stomach, the muscles tightening under the soft touch.  
  
She met his eyes again, slipping her finger into the belt loop on his jeans and tugged, pulling until his center of gravity shifted and his jean clad thigh slid over hers, knee slipping in between hers and he was braced over her.  
  
“We can wait,” he whispered, trapped in her eyes.  
  
“Been waiting long enough,” she murmured back, thumbs sliding into the grooves of his hips where they disappeared into his jeans. “Besides, what could be better than in front of a fireplace in a cabin in the mountains?” she smiled, mouth turning up in a teasing grin.  
  
He smiled back, breath hitching as he lowered himself, soft press of his hips against hers, skin burning where it came in contact with hers, shirt rucked up over her stomach as he slid his hand underneath her t-shirt.  
  
He felt her sigh, her hand coming up to cup the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair and he closed his eyes, kissing the tip of her nose and smiling before kissing her solidly, tongue slipping between her lips to wrap around her own.

* * *

 

His armed tightened around her when she buried her nose against his collar bone, his leg draped over hers.  
  
“Jared told me,” he whispered, watching the flames dance in the fireplace.  
  
“What?” she asked, shifting against him until her head was propped in the corner of his arm, where she could watch his face, her fingers linked with his over his stomach.  
  
“That I should be with you,” he smiled. “Scared the crap out of me. I guess deep down I knew he was right. And then you brought me out here and I just…I realized I didn’t want to let you go,” he said softly.  
  
“What?” he asked, looking down at where she was grinning at him.  
  
“Nothing, just explains why he was so happy to help me,” she smiled.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I called him, told him that I wanted to do this. He was more than willing to hand over his credit card for it,” she laughed.  
  
Jensen’s chest rumbled with his soft laugh and he pulled her back against him.  
  
“Remind me to thank him when we get back then,” he smiled, kissing her softly when she looked back up at him.  
  
They laid together in the dark, soft shadows dancing around the room as the flames flickered in the fireplace.  
  
“One year from now,” Jensen said, breaking the silence. “On our anniversary…let’s come back here,” he grinned, propping himself up on his elbow to smile at her.  
  
“Okay,” she smiled, hand cupping his jaw when he bent to kiss her.


	11. Epilogue

Jensen tossed another log onto the fire, snatching his hand back when red and orange embers swirled from the disruption.  
  
He stepped over Tareena’s hips, draped with their blanket, where she laid on her stomach, arms crossed under her head as she watched the flames burn.  
  
He laid back down beside her, palm sweeping circles over her back, smiling when he felt her ribcage expand and contract with her sigh, turning her head to look at him in the firelight.  
  
He grinned, leaning down to kiss her, propping his own head up on his arm.  
  
“Can you believe it?” he grinned, “One year.”

She smiled back, shifting onto her side and tangling her legs with his, pulling herself closer to him.  
  
“Doesn’t seem like it’s been that long,” she whispered.  
  
“Hasn’t been long enough,” he rumbled back, leaning down to kiss her again, pulling back to stare into her eyes in silence.  
  
“My baby girl,” he whispered, sweeping his hand over her cheek as he leant forward, kissing the tip of her nose before brushing his lips over hers.  
  
She sighed, forehead pressed against his and closed her eyes in bliss. Opening them a second later, eyelids heavy with relaxation.  
  
He just watched her for a moment, lost in her eyes.  
  
“Marry me,” he whispered, thumb sweeping across the pulse point on her neck.  
  
“Okay,” she smiled, hand cupping his jaw when he bent to kiss her.


End file.
